Larissa Re-Thinks

So after my last post and the comments and emails it elicited, I felt a bit like an angry man-bashing feminist, a position I'm certainly not comfortable with. And my first concern was that people would stop reading my blog. (Hah.) The fear that people will stop listening to me is often what causes me to tone down my anger and try to come off as a reasonable woman who sees both sides of everything, even behavior/thought processes that I consider blatantly sexist. My second concern was that Wombat would hate me, even though I was really hurt by his post and had already "un-followed" his blog. The fear that what I say will cause a man, even one I don't know at all, to hate me, or to hate women, keeps me quiet a lot of the time too.

I took in the comments and emails, all of which included some variation of normalizing compartmentalization, and did not completely disagree with everything you guys said- an admittedly difficult realization.

I was extremist. I often am. When there are so many people out there justifying sexist behavior- especially women- I feel there is value to voicing my feminist opinions without apologizing for it or fearing consequences such as losing the appreciation of men. It doesn't mean I don't see the other side or that I think it's all cut out in right's and wrong's. Life is blurry. Moral values can make a lot of sense when written, and then no sense at all when we try to live by them, or even just think by them. That's why I usually write about my own personal experiences, rather than just laying out my opinions on certain topics. My last entry was pure opinion because it came from a place of anger, it was written quickly, and it was intended as a way of opening up a discussion on the topic, which was something I hadn't really tried out before.

I am still upset that Wombat can get away with his blog post, that the comments on his page were playful and supportive of his list, and that I did not succeed in shifting perspectives on the subject- in fact I think I only reinforced how everyone already felt about compartmentalizing. But I can see that my response was not helpful, and that my vision, too, was both limited and limiting. Extremism also stunts possibility for connection, and I'm not happy with myself for falling into it.

So, blog world, I offer here my apologies and a promise to think further on the topic of compartmentalizing, in hopes to write a more balanced and thought-out post about it sometime in the future.

I hope you'll all still read my blog, listen to my perspectives, offer yours, and keep this dialogue going.