Intentions

I am not really a holiday person. I don't have a favorite holiday, I don't really look forward to any particular one, and I don't get terribly excited about them. I always feel there is something forced about a holiday, a combined sense of obligation and expectation that mask whatever its initial intention was. But I'm also not a non-holiday person. I don't refuse to celebrate, nor do I get upset about any given holiday taking place. Mostly, I try to find something I can appreciate about each occasion and I go with the flow.

On New Year's Eve, I appreciate the opportunity to set an intention for a new year. I can set an intention on any given day, of course, but the fact that this one is supposed to count for a whole year- perhaps forever- gives it a different power. No matter how many times a goal may not have been met in the past, there's always a refreshed hope that maybe this time it will work. After all, we have been strengthened by another year- we are not the same people we were in the previous new year's eve- this could very well be the year when we do take up tap dancing, when we do learn Italian, when we do save enough money to go to Ireland, when we do eat more carrots, and when we do get around to reading Anna Karenina.

So I sit here, on the 31st of December, wondering what could be my intention for 2011. There are always the familiar dilemmas. Is it more important to think about acquiring a flat stomach or to stop obsessing over my body image? Neither has ever been a very realistic goal, so is this the year when I give up on both of them? Do I want to think about getting a reliable job or do I want to keep dreaming? Should I redefine my career expectations or should I feed my persistent fantasies? Do those things really matter, anyway? Maybe I should just go for "good health" and "peace on earth" and leave it at that.

I breathe deeply. I need to listen to my higher Self, I need to listen to my heart.

What do I really want?

As soon as my mind quiets down, I hear a response. The answer surprises me. It is clear and specific, and it comes to me in a very, very strong voice.

I want to be free of expectations without losing sight of what I am meant to be in this life.

Well. All right. That will be my intention for this new year.

I wish everyone a wonderful 2011, may we all listen to our inner voices and make room for what we really want.