Gap's Little Mexican Friend Not Gon' Like This

I grew up in a pretty homophobic area of the country but there is no one I know that is more homophobic than Gap's little Mexican friend.  Who I recently found out is Ecuadorian, not Mexican.  Dat's RAYCUSS!

The little Mexican Honduran is homophobic to the point that when we question him about his thoughts on homosexuality troll him, he literally says he would rather have sex with his sister than kiss a guy.  Or would let all of his friends be killed before he would kiss a guy.  Yet for some reason he would apparently suck the venom out of a penis of a friend if it were bitten by a snake.

Which is weird.  Which his not to say I wouldn't do this for a close friend, but not until I had gotten a satisfactory answer after some tough questioning as to why his penis was so close to a snake.  Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day but teach a man not to wag his penis at snakes and he won't get venomous bites.  And while certainly I'd suck the venom out a friend's penis if it was necessary to save his life, I'd probably wouldn't if it was only to save his penis.  Sorry buddy, but there are consequences to wagging your penis at snakes.  And of course I'd only do it if it were medically necessary.  Like I'd hate to be the guy that sucked venom out of a penis when driving him to the hospital or giving him a Benadryl would have the same beneficial effects.  And forget the stigma of a penis in the mouth, is it even safe to have snake venom in your mouth?  I wouldn't suck venom out of a finger unless I knew there was no risk to me.  What if you accidentally swallow?  What if that venom kills your taste buds.  Yeah my friend might live but I will never enjoy pie again?  Fuck that.  So really the takeaway point is, don't suck venom out of a penis until you have done very thorough research.  This is why we have smart phones people, to look up shit like this! 

But the Mexican Brazilian won't simply kiss a dude to save the life of all his friends or avoid an incestuous relationship with his sister, but he will suck the venom from a penis, no questions asked.  This seems like a bit of a discrepancy in his homophobic logic.  It's also possible I misremember his response to this inquiry, I only heard about his answer from Gap, and I frequently forget conversations I have had with him.  Well anyway, this recent scientific study is only strong evidence of what common sense already told us, but yeah, the little Mexican Samoan is probably gay.