Femininity and Feminism Meet for Coffee

In my head, Femininity and Feminism meet at a cafe to talk every once in a while. They need to clarify some stuff. Here's how it usually goes down...

Feminism: Hello, Femininity.

Femininity: Hello, Feminism. I admit I'm scared to have this chat.

Feminism: Really? Why?

Femininity: I'm scared you hate me.

Feminism: Why would you think a thing like that?

Femininity: Because I shave my legs and blow-dry my hair straight and pluck my eyebrows and wear make-up and high-heels.

Feminism: And you think I disapprove of such behavior?

Femininity: Well, yeah... I mean, at the very least, you disapprove that I do it to fit in to social standards of female beauty.

Feminism: Is that what you do?

Femininity: Not always, but often. Like, sometimes, I wear a skirt, and it's just because I want men to look at my legs. I do want to look good for my sake, of course, but I also care about what other people think, and I care about being attractive to men. And not scaring people.

Feminism: So you think I don't care what people think, or about being attractive to men, or about scaring people?

Femininity: Yeah. Isn't that the case?

Feminism: Not always. I wear skirts too. And I like to be admired. And I worry about scaring people.

Femininity: You do?

Feminism: No one likes being compared to nazis or being asked if they've burnt their bra yet. As far as I'm concerned, all females are feminine, and all females are feminists, whether they know it or not. A woman with short hair who wears flats and doesn't pluck her eyebrows can still be feminine. A woman with long, blow-dried hair who gets a manicure every week and wears heels can still be a feminist.

Femininity: But there are stereotypes...

Feminism: Sure, they make it easier for us to talk about each other.

Femininity: But you don't wear things in order to fit into social standards of beauty, do you?

Feminism: Sometimes, I do, yes. Just because not shaving one's armpits works for some women, doesn't mean it works for all women. On the same token, just because wearing a dress works for some women, doesn't mean it works for all women. Once upon a time, women didn't get to decide what worked for them or what didn't. What we fight for is a world where no one feels obligated to look a certain way.

Femininity: How do you know if you feel obligated or not?

Feminism: You are conscious of the choices you make regarding your appearance, aren't you?

Femininity: Yes.

Feminism: And you're conscious of when you do things because you feel you have to, or in order to get a certain result or reaction?

Femininity: Yes.

Feminism: Then there's no reason for me to hate you. With consciousness, we have a choice. Without it, we are robots. As long as you're not a robot, we're not rivals.

Femininity: So you don't think it's bad that I spend an hour and a half on my hair every morning and hundreds of dollars on beauty products every month?

Feminism: I think it's bad if you think it's bad. If it bothers you, then it bothers me.

Femininity: I'm not sure yet if it bothers me or not.

Feminism: Then I'd say it's your responsibility to find out.

Femininity: Okay. So we're cool?

Feminism: Yeah, we're cool.

They smile at each other, sip their lattes, and live happily ever after.

Image from here.