/plays Reveille on trumpet really loud

Crap, Monday is back and he's furious.

Had some lovely engagement photos taken by Mrs. Tommy Jarvis over the weekend. She's so much better than Mr. Tommy Jarvis. He came along to assist her, but he literally spent the entire time taking photos of himself and uploading them to Instagram. This causes problems for me because I then have to get out my phone, open Instagram, and 'like' every picture he uploads. It's so time consuming.

I bought a bunch of old Batman comics over the weekend too. Viv hates this because I just lock myself in my room and refuse to come out until I've read them. She was trying to get me out on Saturday to the bar with some of her friends but I refused because I had just started one of them and the Olympics were on.

Speaking of Olympics, thank God women's beach volleyball is back on. That's the most wonderful wang-honking sport ever. You ladies know what you're doing in those skimpy bikini bottoms, don't pretend and don't look all offended when you see me feverishly beating off to a paused TV shot of you bending over! COME ON!