Pembry: Look man, I don't know your problem is, but you've turned into a huge pussy.
/Gap struggles effeminately against Pembry
Gap: Well, I have been taking these new supplements...
/Gap opens pink gym bag
/Pembry rubs temples
Pembry: How can you be so rich and so dumb?
Gap: Jesus?
/Pembry slaps pills out of Gap's hand
Stop fucking taking those and let's go fuck-start Bilbo's face!
Pembry: Hey, the more I think about it, them more I'm sure of it: I hate Art Garfunkel. Simon is and always will be where it's at. What a fool I've been for all these years. Hey, we're here!
Pembry: You see that shit? You gonna stand there and let that little buttonsing fuck take your place, beat your ass, trash your car, and probably fuck Kelly Lynch?
Gap: Nobody fucks Kell- er...beats my ass. BILBO!
Bilbo: I'm going to need to see some ID sir.
Gap: Fu- what?
Bilbo: This is a bar, 21 and over. You and your pretty date have to be over the age of 21 to enter.
Pembry: I'm not his fucking date, bilbo!
Bilbo: Ma'am, be that as it may, this establishment is 21 and over only. We do have an under 21 night on Tuesdays. We serve soda water and play John Huges movies on the overhead projector. The kids really seem to love it. Now, if you don't have a valid ID, I cannot allow you in, but you're more than welcome to return on Tuesday.
Pembry: Listen you fucking dickhead, I'm going to pou-
Gap: I don't have my ID.
Bilbo: Then good evening.
/Bilbo closes door
Pembry: Oh my fucking GOD! What are we doing!?
Gap: You heard him, we need our IDs. I think mine is over at Kelly's.
Pembry: You don't need your fucking ID if you're going to a bar to kill the owner and reclaim it as your own!
/Gap slams on breaks
Gap: Oh yeah.
/Gap does 180
Bilbo: You kids again.
Gap: Prepare for the death of a lifetime, you fuck!
Bilbo: Hang on a sec.
Bilbo: You smell that? That's Kelly Lynch's doo doo butter.
Gap: You are such an asshole!
/Gap rips off shirt
Bilbo: I used to fuck guys like you at Penn State football camp!
Pembry(hanging up "Bilbo's Place" signs): Hey, you got him!
Gap: Yeah, now if you'll excuse me.
Gap: Is Bilbo's dick bigger than mine?
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