Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wacky Confession Wednesday

"Sometimes my mind wonders to where my blood lust actually comes from. I go back through the years and try to pinpoint the exact point of where my darkness began. Was it during the last great war when I had a body count contest with Adolph? Was it before that, during the French Revolution when I raped the headless corpse of Marie Antoinette? Further back maybe? Yes, much further back, before my time suppressing science in favor of religion or advising Roman Emporers. I can feel it growing within me now, remembering my time as a God. A fake God to those Celtic fools who fed me virgins as sacrifice. That is where it began. I'd slaughter them in horrible ways, then return to the ritual where I would eat their hearts. Those Celts bred the hunger within me. Times were better then. Those virgins were delicious. Not all gamey like the whores I sacrifice now. Those bitches taste like ratmeat and AIDS." -Brought

Years ago I was a projected top 10 pick in the PPPL (Professional Penis Pulling League). I actually wasn't very highly recruited coming out of high school, but I had an amazing Junior and Senior year. It was so surreal, the media attention, the women, the potential money and endorsements. It was just too much. Those couple of months between college and the draft were my darkest hours. I drank, did drugs, and masturbated my way right out of the top 10. Some teams pulled me completely off their boards. My family was ashamed. You see, I come from a long line of professional penis pullers, and this was the ultimate disgrace. I'm not even welcome at family holidays. MY LIFE IS A PIT OF SORROW! -Gap

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