Friday, August 3, 2012

I wish my teeth were shark teeth

So a new study says that human teeth are as strong as shark teeth.

That's all well and good, but I wish we had rows of teeth that would replace one another, just like sharks do. That's what's cool about shark teeth. Well, that and how they're serrated, so they basically saw you in half when they get a hold of you. God I hate sharks. I mean, I know dolphins are the assholes of the sea, but sharks are definitely the cocksmiths of the sea. Look, just because you don't know what I am doesn't mean you should bite me to find out if I taste good. I could've just told you I taste like shit. Biting into me is like biting into a piece of iron that tastes like protein powder, beer, and poopie. Not appetizing at all. Now, you wanna eat something, eat a bilbo. They're soft, salty, smokey, and even a little sweet. It's like a slice of heaven. Bilbos would go great with an IPA, that floral hop aroma would pair so nicely. God, I wish I had some Bilbo right now, I'd rip it apart with my hard teeth.

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