Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The legend grows
Pembry: Did I ever tell you about the time Mr. Horse went hunting?
Bilbo: Last night, I tried to kill myself again.
Pembry: Well anyway, Mr. Horse decides he's gonna hunt down all four members of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all beg for their lives, except Fleagul.
Gap: Darryl Dawkins has a summer home in Mr. Horse's groin.
Pembry: Did I ever tell you about the time Mr. Horse forced me to wear a woman's bikini?
Bilbo: I'm legally retarded.
Pembry: Well anyway, Mr. Horse tears off my clothes and forces me to wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing only a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily, but Ill be damned if at the end of the quarter my sales hadn't tripled.
Gap: Mr. Horse hated hipsters! And he dated a hipster! .......And he hated irony!
Bilbo: Every night I wet the bed!
/awkward pause
Pembry: He once ate the Bible while water skiing.
Random woman: You men smell awful.
Bilbo: Piss off sister, and get us some pretzels.
Pembry: Yeah.
Gap: Ya know, it was the sight of Mr. Horse's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.
(door flies open)
Tommy Jarvis: Hey, are you guys talking about Mr. Horse?
Gap: We sure are!
Tommy Jarvis: I know Mr. Horse!
Pembry: I wanna be your dear friend!
Group: Garrahhaaarragaaaurghhh
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