Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The legend grows



Pembry: Did I ever tell you about the time Mr. Horse went hunting?

Bilbo: Last night, I tried to kill myself again.

Pembry: Well anyway, Mr. Horse decides he's gonna hunt down all four members of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all beg for their lives, except Fleagul.

Gap: Darryl Dawkins has a summer home in Mr. Horse's groin.

Pembry: Did I ever tell you about the time Mr. Horse forced me to wear a woman's bikini?

Bilbo: I'm legally retarded.

Pembry: Well anyway, Mr. Horse tears off my clothes and forces me to wear this skimpy bikini. For the next three months I had to conduct my business wearing only a woman's bathing suit. I would cry from shame and question my manhood daily, but Ill be damned if at the end of the quarter my sales hadn't tripled.

Gap: Mr. Horse hated hipsters! And he dated a hipster! .......And he hated irony!

Bilbo: Every night I wet the bed!

/awkward pause

Pembry: He once ate the Bible while water skiing.

Random woman: You men smell awful.

Bilbo: Piss off sister, and get us some pretzels.

Pembry: Yeah.

Gap: Ya know, it was the sight of Mr. Horse's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

(door flies open)

Tommy Jarvis: Hey, are you guys talking about Mr. Horse?

Gap: We sure are!

Tommy Jarvis: I know Mr. Horse!

Pembry: I wanna be your dear friend!

Group: Garrahhaaarragaaaurghhh

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