In my younger days I was a silver merchant traveling much of continental Europe peddling my wares. Even as a young lad, the miles wore on me and I needed a new idea to get my name out there. I began drawing pictures of my merchandise and posting them in the many towns I visited, but quickly developed carpal tunnel syndrome. Luckily a good friend of mine, Johannes, was developing a revolutionary machine that would allow me to draw one picture, then copy it again and again to be sent the world over! I was going to dominate the precious metals market. My time was coming. Then that fucker decided he would rather use his machine to print a goddamn bible. 'It must be used for good,' he said. That's when I took a cleaver and split his fucking skull. Jesus, what a fucking selfish asshole. 'Ooh, I made this machine and I'm gonna do the stuff that interests only me.' FUCK YOU DICKHEAD, THERE'S GODDAMN MONEY TO BE MADE!" -Brought
A long time ago I purchased a video camera to pass the time. I quickly became obsessed with capturing the look of fear on people's faces. I affixed a sharp blade to the end of my camera, and I would brutally murder women and film the looks on their faces. It was amazing, watching the light leave their eyes. Oh my how they did scream. You see, not only was I video taping their expressions, but I had a mirror mounted on the camera too. So, they were literally watching themselves die. Two points if you can guess what I'm referring to. NO GOOGLING! OR DUCKDUCKGOING! -Gap
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