For years I've loved pistachios. I can sit around for hours and eat them.
Anyway, I was watching TV one day and I saw that fucking Jersey Shore pistachio commercial. That really put me off of pistachios. Watching that midget whore crack open my beloved nut with a tanning bed was just about all I could take. I threw my bag of pistachios on the floor and stormed to my room. Viv tried for days to get me out of there, but I wouldn't budge. I just cried at the top of my lungs and watched Virgin Suicides over and over again. It was the end of my innocence...and I'll never forgive that cunt. Snookie, not Viv...I like Viv and her ample bosoms. -Gap
"I spent much of the 1960's waist deep in the London rock scene. It was brilliant. I was quite the R&D man back then. But my biggest contribution came on what was supposed to be a joke. Dave Davies and I had been drinking all day when we came up with the idea to prank his brother Ray. I would dress in drag and try to seduce Ray and then BANG! Dave would jump out and rip my wig off and it would be this great laugh. So we run out and have this salon dress and make me up like one of those hot little mod girls and we're laughing and carrying on and finally Ray shows up at the bar. Dave 'introduces' us and soon we're hitting it off and heading back to Ray's flat. Well hot damn if Dave never shows and I go ahead and take Ray hard. He didn't even bat an eye! I felt kinda weird after that and stopped hanging around the guys, but what shocked me was later that year when I heard Lola on the radio. Damn fine song that was, and a damn fine piece of ass Ray was." -Brought
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