Road Thrust

Gap: Damn, lotta hot muff in here. What a great idea to open this bar. I had my doubts, but I really am a genius, and watching Road House fifty times really sold me.

/random fights start breaking out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW4BpYv2y7s&feature=fvst)

Gap: Great, now the hot muff is going to leave. I gotta clean this place up. I need a

/makes air quotes

Gap: Cooler. Well, I know just where the best one in the whole world is!

/10 seconds later



Gap: Alright guys, now remember the three rules of bouncing:

1: It's okay to punch women
2. Fight in teams.
3. Biting is not only permitted, it is encouraged.

Gap: Now let's clean my lovely bar up!

/Gap and bouncers start mercilessly pounding patrons.



Gap: Awesome job men!

(door flies open)



Gap: Sorry, bar's closed.

Bilbo: Then what are all these people doing here?

Gap: There's nobody here...it's literally empty with the exception of my bouncers and you.

Bilbo: I just wanna have a good time.

/bilbo starts gyrating

Gap: You're too stupid to have a good time!



/Gap gets put down by Bilbo

(Back at WT HQ)



Gap: Holy shit, that fucking hurt. I'm gonna need some help if I want to get my bar back from that shithead.

/Gap picks up red phone



Pembry: Damn dude, bilbo beat your ass AND fucked up your car?

Gap: Look, I was hungover...he caught me by surprise. Fuck you! Just give me a hand in killing him.

Pembry: Ok, but we're going in the opposite direction of your bar, or should I say Bilbo's bar.

Gap: Shut up, and I have to stop somewhere quickly...Just wait in the car.



(23 seconds later)



Pembry: So, um, were you just in there fucking Kelly Lynch?

Gap: What?! No.

Pembry: Look, I could see you. It was Kelly Lynch. You had all the barn doors open and you kept yelling her name.

Gap: Uhhh...

Pembry: Shouldn't you have been banging Viv or something? I mean, she is your fiance, seems to me like a clear cut case of infidelity. Also, we're still not heading to your bar.

Gap: We're going to the gym to get a lift in...Also, shut up about Kelly Lynch fucking! You're not even sure what you saw, what with your bad vision and new glasses!

/at gym

Pembry: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Kelly Lynch.

/Gap swings and Pembry catches his fist



Pembry: It was totally Kelly Lynch.