"Nothing to confess today as I am out of the office negotiating a cushy management position with our soon-to-be alien overlords." -Brought
Years ago, I used to suffer from Male Pattern Baldness. I tried everything. I used the spray on hair, Rogaine, toupees, hats, horse semen and asshair transplants. Nothing worked. It was as though my head was waging a war against hair. I saw this as a threat and began a five year war against my head. I'd bang it against walls, hit it with hammers, stick it in the freezer, rub it with horse semen, make it watch Sex in the City and read The Historian to it. It was an ugly war, but my head finally surrendered and since then I've had a luxurious head of horse semen. -Gap
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