Coming Attractions-Where in the Soviet Union Will We Go Next

Here are some possible or likely features we will have posted hopefully within the next week assuming we don't get a pie-in-the-face (ala the late tv great Soupy Sales).

1) This week, we finally had a chance to watch the relatively new "Conan" show on TBS with Conan O'Brien who got the shaft at NBC. On the episode I watched, Conan's guest was just-retired NBA great Shaquille O'Neal, who revealed that he likes to go go-kart racing?!

2) Though Lithuania has been in the news, as the mayor of Vilnius unceremoniously crushed a lavish car parked in a bike lane with a tank, we are probably going to go with Turkmenistan as our next destination in our "What We Learned from Google Today" series, which is currently focusing on the former republics of the Soviet Union.

3) We will be continuing our quotes from subversive artists next week. John Waters, R.Crumb and Iggy Pop are among our candidates for the quotes.

_ If you want to take your kids to the movies and you live near Lexington, Va., (one hour north of Roanoke, three hours south of Washington, DC) then the Hull's Drive-in has a lineup geared just for the little ones with a double-feature consisting of "Winnie the Pooh" and "Zookeeper." Of course, for those of us with no kids, we can always stay at home and watch the Criterion version of Ingmar Bergman's "The Seventh Seal" while munching on Milk Duds.

Quote of the Week- Frank Zappa

Along with the likes of John Waters, the late rock musician Frank Zappa (1940-1993) was one of Baltimore's favorite sons. Until we quoted John Lennon today on our sister blog, I did not realize that both singers were born in 1940, a year before Bob Dylan who turned 70 last week.

Frank Zappa's son Dweezil Zappa leads a tribute band called Zappa Plays Zappa. They will perform at The Klein in Bridgeport, Conn., on July 29. Zappa's other celebrity offspring include Moon Unit Zappa and Ahmet Zappa.

Here is a quote from Frank Zappa, which we may well have used the last and only time we quoted him before now, but it is such a good one that it bears repeating here:

"Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe."

Happy Mother's Day in Advance from Joan Crawford

Much to our shock and amazement, we found out that the Castro Theatre in San Francisco, which is one of the most famous cinemas in America, is presented a special 30th anniversary screening of "Mommie Dearest." The 1981 film starring Faye Dunaway about allegations that legendary actress Joan Crawford (1905-1977) will be shown at 7:00 p.m. A local transvestite named Peaches Christ, who is apparently popular in the communtiy, will present the film. Ticket prices are (and, we are not making this up) from $20-40.....wow, an opera in Roanoke, Va., might actually be cheaper.

Crawford won an Oscar for "Mildred Pierce" (1945) and her last screen appearance was in the horror film "Trog" (1970). Her daughter Christina Crawford wrote the 1978 memoir "Mommie Dearest" which became the basis for the film version which was badly recieved, yet it did become a camp film with a large cult following; John Waters even provides commentary on the dvd of the film though he had nothing to do with its production.

Dunaway has publicly stated that she disdains the film, and we assume she will not be in San Francisco for the screening on Saturday night (that might actually be worth the price of admission!).

Ironically, both Christina Crawford, now 71, and Dunaway, now 70, are close to the age that Joan Crawford was when she died which was 72.

SIDEBAR: We forgot to mention my fellow Turkish-American Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz) in our last entry. Your mom might like his book "You: Being Beatiful" over his other book "You:On a Diet," which might be an even bigger mistake than buying a Syrian friend a weiner from Trolley Stop Hot Dogs in Boone, NC (a real place).

And, of course, since we have a strong center-left bias, we have to poke fun of our far-right friends. The right-wing blog "I Hate the Media" which is criticizing us liberals for making Barack Obama out to be The Mighty Thor for his killing of Osama bin Laden reported earlier in the week that the San Diego Padres were giving free admission to veterans, past and present; the team also wore camoflage. Since my stepfather the late Donald Sullivan was a WW-2 vet, we think that is very noble of the Padres. Though, the camoflage seems a wee bit over-the-top.

So, we wanted to inform the folks at "I Hate the Media" that the Padres were also the first team to play in Mexico when they faced the New York Mets for three games between Aug. 16-18, 1996. I'm they 'appreciate' us digging up that fact for them.