Along Came the Spider-Man

The Fourth of July day off is upon us, people, so what better way to celebrate the holiday than in the company of one of America’s favorites, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, who gets a reboot of the first order thanks to (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb’s soaring The Amazing Spider-Man.

My, why take Spidey back to the start, Hollywood, so soon after Sam Raimi dazzled with a fine trilogy that was, for the most part, decidedly successful?

Well, because money talks, and because we can all agree Spider-Man 3 had a messtastic quality to it. Sure, the conclusion to the original trilogy starring Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst was enjoyable – but it also was a bit much. And it left many wondering if, perhaps, the webslinger needed to take a break from leaping around Manhattan and breathe...hang out with his gf and his Aunt May.

Not that audiences, including yours truly, wouldn’t have fully embraced a fourthquel, but after Raimi walked away from the franchise, the powers that be figured that re-exploring the reluctant superhero’s origin and motivation was the way go.

The first order of business was to crack a working script that would differentiate Webb’s movie from the first Maguire-starring entry enough for people not to feel like they were just being bamboozled into spending their hard-earned money on like, a déjà vu.

Check! The Amazing Spider-Man is just as much origin story (if not more of a love story) as Raimi’s first blockbuster. By focusing on the untold story of Peter Parker’s past it is obvious that this retelling has a Nolan-esque vision for what is to come in an inevitable, sure-to-be-anticipated sequel (the mysteries surrounding why Embeth Davidtz’s Mary and Campbell Scott’s Richard Parker, a scientist at Oscorp Industries, left him in a huff and in the care of his loving Uncle Ben and Aunt May – played with plenty of parental warmth by Martin Sheen and Sally Field – are left casually unsolved; an ominous someone is introduced in shadows after an initial batch of credits roll).

It’s definitely a darker take on familiar material, but this being Spider-Man we don’t get taken into Batman-reboot territory. There’s enough color and humor and upbeat (“Crotch!” is my new catchphrase) in this one for days, but there’s also a commitment to be true to a premise that will give us a different perspective on a legend.

The movie also features a key difference: there’s no Mary Jane Watson. Instead, the movie zeroes in on Peter’s first-love romance with the lovely Gwen Stacy – a bold choice given M.J.’s popularity.

Clearly, next up was casting. It was essential that a new pair of real-life-baggage-free leads be found that would make us forget anyone who came before ’em...actors that’d be charming and easy to like and root for as soon as we saw them.

Check, check! Social Network breakout Andrew Garfield and Everygirl Emma Stone earned their roles as Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy surely in no small measure to the embarrassment of riches they display when it comes to their on-screen chemistry, and for the respective pathos and spunk they bring to the parts. Together, the two are electric.

Finally, the villain had to be compelling and intriguing. As Dr. Curt Connors, Rhys Ifans brings a combination of menace and vulnerability that is fairly typical of a Spidey movie. He is a bad guy because of science gone awry – an unwitting pawn in a chess game ’tween evolution of happenstance that, unlike Peter, has had him draw the short end of the look-what-I-came-into-with stick. That’s why he transforms into the big bad Lizard, a destructive force that threatens all of New York.

Connors, also an Oscorp scientist (btw), wants to make the world better, rid it of weakness, and find a way to make himself whole again (he lost his right arm in an incident a long, long time ago). But he’s a twofold kind of pawn, for he is also working on a top secret project for a oft-mentioned-never-seen major character of the Spider-Man world. Mmm...I wonder how Richard Parker ever fit in this puzzle....

So...check!

The Amazing Spider-Man is, well...amazing because of its honesty and its humanity. Garfield’s Peter is very much a teenager – insecure (his abandonment issues have turned him into a target of bullying), playful and eager when it comes to love, and arrogant and reckless about his newfound sense of duty, which initially he confuses as carte blanche to turn into a bit of a rationalized vigilante – and that is why the actor shines in the part.

Webb and his writers have given their players, especially Garfield and Stone (who is a damsel, alright, but never in distress), plenty of real-life stakes from which to mine, and, as a result, they’ve gotten to tell a grounded, full-of-emotion story rather than a one-dimensional comic-y one.

It’s a rare occurrence that such a sweet, thrilling feat takes place, so be sure to pay your respects this long weekend. American superhero stories don’t get better than that, indeed.

My Rating ****

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Boys Gone Wild

I think I know the answer to this question, but are you ready for some Magic Mike?

’Cause I know you know that I have been for quite some time.

Well, it’s almost June 29, at last – but the Steven Soderbergh-directed eye feast (my, you have earned your spot in heaven, S2!) is opening in less than six hours. So the noise you hear is the sound of thousands of ladies (and their gays) like, rushing to the nearest theater double-horny and double-pronto for a midnight screening.

What awaits them there is...a dramedy that totally surprises about friendship and not-so-young love?

WTF!

Wait, hold up – you probably thought this movie was just gonna be about this charming guy Mike (played by the beyond-irresistible Channing Tatum, proving once and for all that he has arrived) and his studly strippin’ band of bros (Joe Manganiello and Matthew Bomer among them) shakin’ their junk for the cameras, huh.

There’s plenty o’ that, but the powers that be have dared give the blockbuster more than titillation – they’ve come up with a whole story, based in part on Tatum’s pre-acting experiences as a real-life booty shaker.

The nerve.

Good thing, though, that, on its own, the story holds its own (light) weight. Looking past the bronzer that covers the façade of the main character and his nemesis, a cowboy-twangin’ old timer named Dallas played by Matthew McConaughey – oozing equal amounts of the smarmy and the sexy – the movie is a classically told story. It’s little guy trying to make good while bigger guy tries to keep him down (ish, on the sly) as he plots an equity-promising-never-delivering plan to head south to Miami, baby, and take the Magic City by storm.

Except both dudes spend a healthy chunk of their time on screen gyrating as, say, a homeboy (people, Tatum has the moves!) or a leather-clad, harness-wearing (H-O-T!) pseudo-svengali with a penchant for folky songs and saying “alright, alright, alright” like only a Texan macho man could, thankyouverymuch.

It’s obviously all good and dandy, except I get how the subject matter may give people pause. For audiences to see women strip is one thing, but for men to do the same, well...that’s like this new frontier. Mind you, there isn't any full frontal in Magic Mike (and if there had been it woulda been a bit of a cop-out). The closest we get to som’in’ akin to it involves Manganiello’s character and how he...uh...pumps himself up before going on stage, and the beyond-tease that he offers when he’s out there in as Big Dick Richie.

Serious, that’s his character’s name.

The A conflict comes from the fact that Mike, a part-time construction worker who’s the the star of Tampa’s Xquisite Male Dance Review at night, is pushing 30 and still chasing his dream of becoming a furniture designer. That’s rather commendable, except it’s evident that it’s also not gonna happen because the guy has shed his clothes for 1s – and the thrill of knowing and letting every lady who’s ever come out for a night on the town know he can have them – for longer than he should have now.

When he meets Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a clueless 19-year-old, he sees a chance to do something nice for someone who 1) kinda reminds him of himself at that age and 2) maybe, just perhaps, could be groomable into something of an heir apparent. As these things go, though, shy Adam emerges from his cocoon and becomes a butterfly that doesn’t know not to test his wings so fast and willy-nilly.

The “Kid,” as he’s nicknamed, gets in some unsavory trouble – y’ know, the sort that would come from hanging out in a strip joint, with characters whose personalities the script barely explores – right, Matthew Bomer? (We hardly get to know his Ken, or Adam Rodriguez’s Tito, or Big Dick Richie, for that matter. They’re eye candy, and that’s about it.)

The B story is the rapport that develops between Mike and Adam’s older, has-it-together sister (newcomer Cody Horn). This young woman is kinda out of his league because she has it going on in a different way: she’s smart and employed and she’s smokin’ hot and she wishes Adam would live up to his potential.

Mike promises to look out after the Kid, but what he fails to realize is that now that he’s met her, he’s the one that needs taking care of, for he’s begun to change...to like, reprioritize, already.

Ultimately, what Magic Mike mines are the depths to which one is not only willing to plunge to have a good time and make an honest, albeit easy living, but to analyze how well they know themselves – and what kind of decisions they’ll make once an epiphany hits. (Toldja the movie would give ya something to ponder and not just recall when you get home and are taking a cold shower.)

For Mike, the choice isn’t 100 percent clear, but the reward is...and he may just have found it in a hopeless place he’s come to know as home but may not be where his heart is anymore.

My Rating ***

Photo: The Karpel Group.

The Secret Life of an American President

There are few things you might want to consider before you head out catch a showing of the adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Firstly, remember that this oh-so-popcorn movie is titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Secondly, remember that this oh-so-popcorn movie, titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, was directed by Timur Bekmambentov, the guy who gave us the heavy-on-the-visuals-light-on-the-sensical Angelina Jolie vehicle Wanted.

(For all y’all history buffs, there’s yet another Lincoln movie on the horizon – this one directed by the Steven Spielberg, starring the Daniel Day-Lewis. That’s the one you want to hold to higher standard.)

And thirdly, remember that this oh-so-popcorn movie is titled Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, directed by the helmer of Wanted is about the 16th American president and like, how because of his secret life as friggin’ vampire hunter he was able to win the American Civil War and pave the way for the greatness that was to take hold of the United States.

Wait, what? You mean the title of the movie is not a metaphor?

Nope – it’s not.

See, dude picked up vampire hunting shortly after the death of his father, who died nine years after Lincoln’s mother bit it – ha! – after a vampire sank his fangs on her because Lincoln’s father owe a debt that he would not pay on account of principle and his having stood up to defend Will, a slave boy Lincoln is BFF with...and would grow up to be played by Anthony Mackie. Abe being Abe, he fixates on a bit of an eye-for-an-eye brand of keeping them honest and sets out to find the mother-killin’ vampire, not knowing that such creatures are more than myth.

Fortuitously, Lincoln meets the mysterious Henry (Dominic Cooper) and he begins to grasp the power of his enemy. Henry trains him, shows him to Buffy up his game (seriously, the slayer would be proud, if she like, could travel back in time and insert herself into this mythology). However, he also frustrates the heck out of the Lincoln because for a while he won’t let him get the vamp who offed his mom, sending him off instead to hunt vampires out of a town – a place closer to the allure of D.C. and politics and the betterment of not only oneself but the country...and of love, which Lincoln meets in the form of Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead).

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter chronicles Abraham Lincoln’s lifelong quest to rid the nation of the threat from the undead – as well as all the other problems that burdened it, beginning with slavery.

Virtual newcomer Benjamin Walker plays Honest Abe, and the actor – who is building a career on interesting takes on American presidents, already having played a rocking version of Andrew Jackson in Broadway’s Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson – could not be more of a mesmerize.

He has this boyish, yet commanding presence (he’s very tall and lean and worthy of a good stare in one shirtless scene) and has this Liam Neeson-esque situation going on....

He’s a good thing, and, obviously, the fourth, and by no means least other thing you should consider when you go see the movie, which is not quite as super-exciting as it provocatively absurd, but, regrettably for the powers that be, which include Tim Burton as a producer, only exciting enough.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

The A-Team

OMJoss.

That’s exactly what you should be uttering after you catch Joss Whedon’s The Avengers this weekend, for the mastermind behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel and Firefly and Serenity and Dollhouse and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (not to mention the script for the first Toy Story) delivers the geekasm.

Heck yeah he does.

This is the one you’ve been waiting for from Marvel – what I call the payout for the super-cool Iron Man and the better-than-Ang Lee’s The Hulk The Incredible Hulk (the promise of which was right there in the title), and for Iron Man 2, and for Thor, and for Captain America: The First Avenger.

This is the one that assembles ’em all – with even more Samuel L. f---in’ Jackson as the cucumber-cool S.H.I.E.L.D big boss Nick Fury, a little more of Scarlett Johansson reprising her role as Black Widow, a rather healthy serving of Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye thrown into the mix, and some more Clark Gregg as the oh-so-essential Agent Coulson.

This is the one that kicks the most butt, as standardly good vs. evil as the story is, because this is the one that fulfills the promise of a popcorn movie that not only is super-good but also delivers what movie fans all around the world have been waiting for: a golden opportunity to see their fave comic-book characters go mano a mano and then get it together to save the world.

In other words, this one will rock your bones.

In IMAX 3-D (go on – treat yourself to the biggest adventure yet in the biggest screen possible).

The story, as you should know if you have been keeping up with these movies, revolves around the Tesseract (that cosmic cube of blue energy so teased in the Thor and Captain America movies) and how it falls into the hands of Thor's megalomaniac – and quippy! – adoptive brother Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston), who intends to rage the ultimate war on Earth and bring the planet to its knees since he’s still royally pissed off he was passed in favor of his blond and muscle-y brother (Chris Hemsworth) to receive the keys to their Asgardian kingdom.

The world on the reddest of red alerts, Nick Fury activates the Avengers Initiative and assembles his motley crew of superheroes to help defend mankind. He and Agent Coulson call upon Black Widow (who makes quite an impressive entrance into the blockbuster, IMHO, complete with lots of visual refs to my favorite slayer), who then goes looking for the reclusive Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo, stepping into the Hulkian shoes Edward Norton vacated after a dispute with Marvel).

They call on Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), too, who would rather stay home, plotting his next move on his quest to out-Stark himself (while keeping grounded by – Spoiler Alert! – his main gal played by one of my favorite gals); and on Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, who’s still reeling from, y’ know, waking up in our time after that very cold nap that interrupted his heroics during World War II.

As I said earlier, Whedon has devised a story that relies on the conflict inherent to bringing together all these people and their egos and their considerable amounts baggage. He doesn’t shy away from it, and, in fact, he thrives in it. The Avengers brings it because it divides to conquer – because it dares to remind its audience of the human flaws these supers have so that we can buy into it when they decide to put them aside in the name of the greater good. In other words, yeah, these boys and girl do not like to play together, but by golly, they will when it comes to saving the s---.

Yeah, of course all these characters, all this explosive action, all this climaxing by bringing chaos to Midtown Manhattan after a portal to another universe so an alien race can invade and ravage Earth opens up in the middle of the sky is a little bit much of a good thing.

But it works awesomely. The movie does exactly what it needs to do with lots of smarts and humor and a little trademark-Whedon heartbreak of the most shocking sort. My jaw was seriously on the floor for a good couple minutes and I think a few tears wanted to begin to form behind my eyes.

Plus, the movie also finally solves the Hulk problem (when use sparingly, Bruce Banner’s mean ol’ green alter ego totally can so leave us wanting more), so yay.

And Hemsworth’s biceps and triceps get a lot of camera luvin’. And we’re introduced to Maria Hill, a new S.H.I.E.L.D. agent played by new crush, Cobie Smulders (TV’s How I Met Your Mother).

I think you should – and you more than likely – will go see The Avengers this weekend. And I so know for sure that you are just going to heart it. (Don’t get up and leave once the movie ends – if you want to hear a gasp! moment from the fanboys you’ll wanna check out the tag that sets up the next adventure, and long after that for a second, more winky tag).

My Rating ****

Photo: Walt Disney Pictures.

Mission: Love

The lucky one? More like, the buff one.

I’m talking of course about how good Zac Efron looks in his new movie, The Lucky One, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel for which the actor packed on almost 20 lbs. of muscle poundage.

The actor plays Sgt. Logan Thibault like a golden retriever of a former Marine – a good thing since he spends a great deal of his time working in the family-run dog kennel of the object of his affection, which, btw, is located in the most picturesque setting of Louisiana I’ve ever seen committed to film.

Like, I want to go to there.

Ah, but I digress.

As I was saying, Efron spends a lot of time working and then quietly wooing the kennel’s owner, a woman named Beth, nicely and quirkily played by the lovely Taylor Schilling, whom you may know as the once-upon-a-time-two-seasons-ago star of TV’s Mercy.

Beth is initially reluctant to hire Logan. I think she finds his inner life much too mysterious, and his chivalry rather off-putting (Logan is the kind of guy who says things like “please” and “thank you” and calls Beth’s doting grandmother – Blythe Danner, an earthy hoot as always – “ma’am,” while her ex is the son of a prominent local big deal and a cop with a short fuse). She’s wary of him as soon as he mentions he’s a vet and reluctant to hire him, but he ultimately gets the job (thanks, grandma!)

Obviously, it’s only a matter of time until she takes a shining to the guy. How could she not, after all? He’s got 20 lbs. of young Marine-ness on him, a killer smile (when he smiles), and baby blues that are as debunking as any I’ve ever seen. Surely, if she doesn’t want him....

Nah, I’m not going there. Anyway....

This being a (light) romantic drama based on a Sparks novel, know this meet isn’t happenstance. Logan came to find her because Beth is the woman in the photo he found while proudly serving his third tour of duty out in Iraq – a pic he came to think of as lucky charm for coming upon it quite literally saved his life.

Of course, this is the conflict of the story: Logan has a secret about Beth and her...significance to him, and as secrets do, this one eventually comes out, jeopardizing the couple’s burgeoning relationship and his bond with her adorable young son.

I won’t spoil how the whole thing unravels because, this being a Sparks novel, you probably know there’ll be some sort of tragic twist to the whole thing. So that leaves me with having to focus on the acting and the chemistry between Efron an Schilling.

Let’s start with the latter.

This most-photogenic pairs works well together. It’s no wonder there were short-lived rumors the two were hooking up off-set while making The Lucky One. But she looks a bit too old for him; try as he might, Efron's still got a mean baby face, and some scruff ain’t gonna cut it, buddy. Not that Schilling is that much older than him – a quick IMDb search said she’s only three years his senior. She just looks a lot more...wise than he does (which helps her character, but not the movie...it’s a bit distracting).

This brings me to the former topic of discussion, the acting.

Schilling shows off some nice potential-leading-lady chops, although I’m not sure she’s quite there yet, as in ready for the silver screen. Or maybe this just wasn’t the proper intro – having seen her on Mercy, albeit briefly, I know she has more in her than playing somewhat-suffering stock.

Efron, meanwhile, also acquits himself well as a leading man, but, again, he’s a zygote. I’m not sayin’ he should be playing 17 again (see what I did there, Efron fans?), but when he’s given material that has him doing a confessional and his acting comes off a bit Nicolas Cage-y...I’m not sure that’s good. Oh, and the movie loses points for not featuring the guy shirtless more. Twenty pounds of muscle.... Hello!

Still, though, The Lucky One, while not the best one, just might be a nice-enough date-night time. So check it out – if anything, it’ll give ya an idea for a future getaway. Otherwise, wait until you can watch it in the comfort of your own home with your lucky one.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

More Than Meets the Eye

There’s a good indicator movie audiences have learned to look at by now when it comes to going to the multiplex to spend their hard-earned dollars: that is, if a movie has been sitting on a studio’s shelf awaiting a release date at last, you bestest do yourself a favor and skip it.

Well, it’s a cool thing rules are meant to be broken because opening today is The Cabin in the Woods, a comedic horror thriller produced and co-written by Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind the beloved TV cult hit Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Angel. And Firefly and Serenity. And Dollhouse. And Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Oh, and the story for the first Toy Story. And the upcoming Avengers movie, which he helmed for Marvel.

Shall I go on?

Anyway, the movie is insane and totally not what I expected it to be when I saw its trailer last December. Back then, I thought the powers that be had pretty much given up on Drew Goddard’s directorial debut (he’s the guy who wrote Cloverfield, btw) and given away the plot in that first full preview.

I figured they’d like, stopped hoping they’d ever see their movie open in theaters everywhere since like, it has now been two years since the darn thing was supposed to come out (the original studio, MGM, ran into financial problems, you see).

But, here The Cabin in the Woods is, ready to welcome those looking for a good ol’, debunkingly smart take on the horror genre – and in seeing Chris Hemsworth looking all taut and shirtless and s--- (the actor worked on this movie way before he was even chose to play Thor, btw).

Now, I can’t and won’t say anything else about what happens in the movie because, really, everything is sooo closely knit that to say something about one thing would give away something else about another. And, honestly, I’m not just saying that because I’m being a lazy cow and trying to push this out. I know Richard Jenkins, the Oscar-nominated actor who plays a pivotal part in the plot, wouldn’t like me to. And I don’t wanna be a Rex Reed (GTS, guys.)

This much I can say: The movie chronicles the very bad things that happen after five friends – including Kristen Connolly, Hemsworth, Dollhouse alumnus Fran Kranz, and Jesse Williams (TV’s Grey’s Anatomy), get to there.

And you will never guess just what or who’s making it all go down or why. Because whatever you think is actually happening, well...isn’t.

Shucks – that was a mild spoiler.

Just know that is why Whedon is such a god to some of us. He has a talent for setting something up in a way that is super-creative and totally not didactic. He and Goddard have created a story that moves briskly, and a mythology that is intriguing and should leave you wanting more. Sure, The Cabin in the Woods flirts rather heavily with the ridikolous when it comes to the climax, but, by golly, is it a well-earned prerogative.

If you want to have a silly time complete with genuine frights and laughs, then this one is the one that you want. And trust me - you wanna.

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: Lionsgate Films.