IRONDAD

Lessons learned from Ironman that can be applied to something really important (like fatherhood.)

1. Ironman and fatherhood both build and reveal character. No one knows if you live like you say you do like your kids. Your priorities and values may seem like something you write down in a self-help seminar. Your kids see you live out what you actually believe.
2. It may seem like a good release of steam to yell at the course but it will not improve the course at all. (Insert child's name where the phrase "...the course.." is.)
3. Approach an Ironman with a sense of awe, appreciation, and joy and you will get the same back in return. Same with parenting.
4. This is an Ironman not a sprint. Parenting and Ironman take F O R E V E R.
5. Kids' brains are not fully developed don't expect them to be. You are not fully trained for an Ironman halfway through your season, to expect to be fully ready at this time only leads to disappointment. To expect your teen-ager to act like a little adult is only going to frustrate you. 
6. I was not born a genetic "fly guy." I will probably never sniff the podium of an Ironman. To teach your kid to enjoy the best of his or her gifts, bloom where they are planted and enjoy the opportunities they are given may be the most important lesson you can teach them. (Especially if they come from the shallow end of the gene pool like mine.)
7. Changing the tune on your ipod can really change your pace and your mood. No one outside my family until now but there is a song on my ipod with banjo in it. Yep, got all kinds of rap, pop, and rock but when the banjo comes up my pace immediately picks up. If you are tired of banging your head against the wall with your kid try doing something just a little bit differen. You may be shocked at the change.
8. You are modelling for your child what kind of relationships to look for in their own lives. When you are done with your 120 miler, don't collapse on the couch. Offer to take your wife out for a date night or have a family night. That is the only way they are assured Ironman is not more important to you than they are. I want to set the bar incredibly hard for my daughters' boyfriends. They need to treat them as equals, respect them, and laugh and dance and play and squeeze the juice out of life until there is nothing left.
9. It is developmentally appropritate that your adolescent child wants you to be invisible in front of his or her friends. Even if his or her friends say "Wow, you rode your bike 120 miles today!?" The appropriate response is "Yep, rode my bike 120 miles and saw a bear wrestle a panther while we were riding by," and then walk away. Leaves you looking way cooler in your kids and his/her friends eyes. Same thing with adults, they don't want to know your heartrate zones, caloric intake, etc... Here are some signs that you may be talking too much about your racing or training. While talking about said training; people constantly yawn, people look at their watch, or people jump out of your car while it is still moving.
10. My favorite quote from my daughter, Lobo, was a couple of years ago when she tossed me a crumpled shirt and said, "Can you iron this for me please, Mr Ironmaaaaan?" Kids need a REAL DAD first! They only need an Irondad if their shirt is wrinkled.

My Dad

I have a really great dad.

I have the kind of dad who woke up at 6:00am every day for 17 years, dressed his kids, made sure they brushed their teeth, and waited with them for the school bus- all the while letting his daughter talk like a parrot, and always seeming 100% engaged in her every word.

I have the kind of dad who worked 10-12 hour days, always came home with a smile, had dinner with his family, and then helped his children with their math homework. His daughter was exceptionally difficult, as she was not only terrible at math, but also made a big drama out of any little assignment she didn't understand. If he ever would have preferred to sit in front of the TV and unwind from his long days with a glass of wine, he didn't show it.

I have the kind of dad who watched Toy Story so many times he knew it by heart. 

I have the kind of dad who wore the same belt for 27 years, drove the same car for 10 years, and never owned a Rolex. Instead, his children saw the world, studied at the best schools, and started off their lives debt-free.

I have the kind of dad who got so nervous when he met his daughter's first boyfriend he chewed his tongue instead of his bubble gum. But he always let her make her own decisions. If he disapproved, he never assumed his daughter wasn't smart enough to eventually figure it out for herself.

I have the kind of dad who re-read all the books his kids were reading for school, took his son to Little League on Saturdays, and sat through every one of his daughter's plays.

I have the kind of dad who said, "No, I can't go watch the game at the bar with the guys, I have to help my daughter learn her lines." 

I have the kind of dad who taught his daughter Shakespeare and Poe and Cummings before she could even write her name in cursive.

I have the kind of dad who sees the world with such positivity and love it can shake the cynicism out of even the most skeptical New Yorker.

I have the kind of dad who lets me know, every day, that I am loved.



I'm so lucky to be my daddy's girl.


Happy Father's Day to all the great dads out there.