He's Alive. Now Talk To Him, Damn it!
Sorry Jimbo, apparently you aren't supposed to tongue kiss an old mop.*
* - OK, I am not technically dead yet. But I have some major bug or maybe salmonella poisoning and just in case I'll be damned if I let fucking Buttons be the one to "Too Soon" me. And I never get sick, normally so I am pretty sure this is it for me. Back in 3rd grade I paid a gypsy woman to steal Gap's immunity system and give it to me. Now he always gets sick and I never do. But then last night I decide to watch fucking Contagion, where this goddamn super flu rips through the population and kills millions in the US, and then literally 5 hours later I am the sickest I have ever been in my life. WHY DIDN'T I THINK TO ALSO STEAL MATT DAMON'S IMMUNITY SYSTEM!?! So yeah I had to go to the hospital to confirm it wasn't my appendix and apparently I was "dangerously dehydrated" and had to have an IV drip. Which is delicious. So just in case I don't pull through...
