(Swinging London)
Pembry: Hey, this is really great. I've heard chicks go crazy over foreign guys, and I'm finally gonna find out first hand! First I think I'll soak up some of this wonderful culture.
/cabbie speeds away
Pembry: Hey, nice clock. I've got a Rolex, but no big deal.
/Pembry stares at clock
Pembry: Fuck, I'm hungry. I hope they serve Hamburger Helper over here. Cabbie, the nearest eatery please.
Cabbie: Right away (under breath) ya fuckin' wanker.
Pembry: What?
Cabbie: Right away, Govnah!
/cabbie speeds away
Pembry: Uh, cheerio, may I have an ale and something to eat.
/Pembry gets beaten horribly
(meanwhile)
(mumbling)
Voice: We'd better fucking be here. I god damn hate planes.
Voice2: We're here stupid, I checked with the stewardess, then I grabbed her ass.
/two dirty figures slide down the emergency slide and commandeer a police vehicle
(chanting) Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.....
(back at the pub)
Pembry: So, now that you beat the shit out of me, will you give me something to eat?
Hideous waitress: Sure thing, Yank.
Pembry: CHUH-CHUH!
/Pembry starts inhaling food
(door flies open)
Bilbo: Hey buddy.
/Gap vomits
Gap: Wheeeeew, had some bad fish and chips.
/walks over and starts eating Jimbo's fish and chips
Gap: These are turrible too.
Pembry: What the fuck are you assholes doing here?
Bilbo: We're here to party?
/Bilbo starts to gyrate
/Gap joins in halfway through
Gap: Seriously, when are we going to the match? I've been watching Green Street Hooligans for the last two weeks and I'm ready to get some fightin' done!
Bilbo: Soon. First we gotta get you drunk enough to not feel the punches.
/Gap starts chugging beers on the counter
Gap: Are these supposed to be room temperature?
Bilbo: Yup. Keep going!
Pembry: What are you dickheads doing here?
Bilbo: We missed you, and Gap and I wanted to catch a local footy match.
Pembry: I'm here on business, I don't have time to babysit you idiots.
Gap (slurring and offended): Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOOOOA mister.
/falls off barstool
Bilbo: I gotta get as drunk as him. Excuse me.
Pembry: I'm serious, you fucks need to leave me alone, this is important business!
Gap (slurring) : Right, "business".
/makes JOing motion
/Bilbo starts to actually masturbate to completion
Pembry: I'm fucking out of here.
/Bilbo and Gap continue to fit in at pub
Pembry: Those guys are such shitheads. They'd better not fuck this up for me.
(To be continued)
