Pembry: Those guys are such idiots. I hope they die in that pub. I hope they die and go straight to Hell.
(Back at Pub)
Gap and Brought: WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!
Gap: British people fucking rule. All they do is drink, fuck, fight, and not brush their teeth.
Brought: I couldn't be less dead if I tried. How 'bout you, Jimbo?
/Gap and Brought look around
Gap: Uh, where did Pembry go?
Brought: England?
Gap: We gotta find him!
Brought: And ruin whatever he's doing!
/Gap and Brought run out of pub
(London Mansion)
Pembry: OK. It's now or never. You didn't come all this way for nothing.
/Pembry scrambles out of cab and runs up to front of mansion
(Mansion door flies open)
Margaret: What is the meaning of all this?
Pembry: Chuh-chuh! Margaret, my name is Jim Pembry, I just wanna talk to you...dammit.
Margaret: I shall have you horse-whipped for this!
Pembry: Please, just hear me out. I've come a long way to profess my love for you.
Margaret: What?
Pembry: Listen. You're the Iron Lady I've needed on my arm for years. Your uncompromising stance on literally everything is something I've always loved about you. When I look at you, I see a kindred spirit. I see someone who understands me. I feel like we were cast from the same mould, then God took that mould, smashed it to pieces and killed the angel that made it. I need you, not just your Google image results. Please, be mine.
/awkward silence
Margaret: Alright.
Pembry: Now, I thought you were gonna say that and I think you should re-...wait, what?
Margaret: That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.
Pembry: You do?
Margaret: Yes, and you look like you could give me quite the rogering.
Pembry: And how!
Margaret: Before we're on our way, would you like to come inside and help me randomly fire some of my staff? It's ever so much fun.
Pembry: Would I!!!
/Pembry starts to strut towards Margaret
(off in the distance, but getting annoyingly close)
(the roar of and engine and faint chanting)
"Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy."
Gap: Look out!
(Doors fly open)
Bilbo: Oh thank God my sword wasn't damaged in the crash.
/Bilbo immediately thrusts sword into Margaret
Gap: Oh SHE DEAD! (fumbling with bowtie) Seriously, does anybody know how to tie this fucking tie?
Bilbo: It's a bowt-
Pembry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You fucking assholes! You killed her!
Bilbo: Who, Austin Powers?
Pembry: You killed my beloved, you fucking idiot! I knew you guys were gonna ruin this trip. Once, just once, can I go somewhere without either one of you raping, killing, bilboing, or knife penising someone?
Bilbo: Something, once they're dead, they just become a thing.
Gap: Her name is Robert Paulson. Her name is-
Pembry: Her name is Margaret, you fucking dunderheads!
Bilbo: Oh come on buddy, cheer up. You wanna play V for Vendetta?
Pembry: No, I don't want to blow up Parliament!
Bilbo: No, I'm talking about shaving Natalie Portman's head and torturing her.
/Gap's hand shoots up
Gap: OH OH OH OH! I wanna play!
Pembry: First off, she lives in America. Second, aren't one of you in love with her.
V Gap: Pembry, just because you love something doesn't mean you can't set it free, hunt it, torture it and then make sweet unwanted love to its ass.
V Brought: I like where he's going with this. And look, I've got her right here!
Natalie (crying): Please, please don't hurt me.
V Gap: God, she's been crying since New York. Starting to work on my nerves.
V Brought: So, you in Jimbo?
V Pembry: Yes, yes I am...
