A trip across the pond.

(Swinging London)

Pembry: Hey, this is really great. I've heard chicks go crazy over foreign guys, and I'm finally gonna find out first hand! First I think I'll soak up some of this wonderful culture.

/cabbie speeds away

Pembry: Hey, nice clock. I've got a Rolex, but no big deal.

/Pembry stares at clock

Pembry: Fuck, I'm hungry. I hope they serve Hamburger Helper over here. Cabbie, the nearest eatery please.

Cabbie: Right away (under breath) ya fuckin' wanker.

Pembry: What?

Cabbie: Right away, Govnah!

/cabbie speeds away

Pembry: Uh, cheerio, may I have an ale and something to eat.

/Pembry gets beaten horribly

(meanwhile)

(mumbling)

Voice: We'd better fucking be here. I god damn hate planes.

Voice2: We're here stupid, I checked with the stewardess, then I grabbed her ass.

/two dirty figures slide down the emergency slide and commandeer a police vehicle

(chanting) Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.....

(back at the pub)

Pembry: So, now that you beat the shit out of me, will you give me something to eat?

Hideous waitress: Sure thing, Yank.

Pembry: CHUH-CHUH!

/Pembry starts inhaling food

(door flies open)

Bilbo: Hey buddy.

/Gap vomits

Gap: Wheeeeew, had some bad fish and chips.

/walks over and starts eating Jimbo's fish and chips

Gap: These are turrible too.

Pembry: What the fuck are you assholes doing here?

Bilbo: We're here to party?

/Bilbo starts to gyrate

/Gap joins in halfway through

Gap: Seriously, when are we going to the match? I've been watching Green Street Hooligans for the last two weeks and I'm ready to get some fightin' done!

Bilbo: Soon. First we gotta get you drunk enough to not feel the punches.

/Gap starts chugging beers on the counter

Gap: Are these supposed to be room temperature?

Bilbo: Yup. Keep going!

Pembry: What are you dickheads doing here?

Bilbo: We missed you, and Gap and I wanted to catch a local footy match.

Pembry: I'm here on business, I don't have time to babysit you idiots.

Gap (slurring and offended): Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOOOOA mister.

/falls off barstool

Bilbo: I gotta get as drunk as him. Excuse me.

Pembry: I'm serious, you fucks need to leave me alone, this is important business!

Gap (slurring) : Right, "business".

/makes JOing motion

/Bilbo starts to actually masturbate to completion

Pembry: I'm fucking out of here.

/Bilbo and Gap continue to fit in at pub

Pembry: Those guys are such shitheads. They'd better not fuck this up for me.

(To be continued)