"Ever since the pervasive problem of the "West Coast Viewing Audience" came to light about a decade ago, Gap and I have been desperate to solve the issue. After several failed attempts at kickstarting the San Andreas Fault in order to plunge the west coast into the ocean, we tried biochemical warfare. Turns out LA's smog issues have created a chemical tolerance for all residents west of the Rocky Mountains. God damn the WCVA! All Gap and I want is a decent night's sleep after watching a complete sporting event. Is that so much to ask? Hopefully our latest plan works. If you'd like to join our Mongol horde, we'll be amassing by the hundreds of thousands in western Colorado, ready to storm the gates of Hell and bring back a proper sports viewing schedule. Free rape and pillaging, but bring your own punch and pie." -Brought
In the mid 70's I used to follow Harvey Milk around Castro Street asking him for some of his AIDS riddled blood. He kept going on and on about how he didn't have AIDS, but I knew better. Nobody with that many penises up his ass is AIDS free. I told him all I wanted to do with it is put some in Dan White's Twinkies. Harvey just kept on insisting that he didn't have AIDS and even if he did, he wouldn't let me go around infecting people with his blood. I spat in his face and told him he didn't deserve James Franco. Then I convinced Dan White to shoot him. -Gap
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