Bilbo: My dear Ammon. You asked me once if I had told you everything there was to know about my adventures. While I can honestly say I have told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it.
(door flies open...)
Gray Wizard Pedobear: Bilbo Baggins, I am looking for someone to share in an adventure.
Bilbo: I cant just go running off into the blue. I am a Baggins of Bag End.
Gray Wizard Pedobear: Bilbo allow me to introduce Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, and Ori.
Bilbo: I'm listening, go on...
Gray Wizard Pedobear: And the leader of our company, Becky.
Bilbo: Well perhaps I can spare a few months for a bilboing good time.
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To seek the pale enchanted gold.
In places deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.
The fire was red, it flaming spread;
The trees like torches blazed with light.
/Bilbo hums a merry tune and starts skipping on his journey
Bilbo: And a Bilboing good time shall be had by all!
Becky: I cannot guarantee his safety.
Gray Wizard Pedobear: Understood
Becky: Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
/Becky takes sip of drink Bilbo made her and passes out
Gray Wizard Pedobear: Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You'll have a tale or two to tell when you come back.
Bilbo: Can you promise that I will come back?
Gray Wizard Pedobear: No
Gray Wizard Pedobear: And if you do, you will not be the same.
Bilbo: My name is Bilbo Baggins.
Pembry: Bagginses. What is a Bagginses? Precious!
