Showing posts with label don't get me wrong touching little boys is totally wrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label don't get me wrong touching little boys is totally wrong. Show all posts
Friday, July 13, 2012
PSU!
Well, I wish I could be as gracious as Jimbo was in his post, but I can't. I can provide some lovely memes!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Yet Another Rat Leaving Yet Another Sinking Ship
Well, the Freeh Report is out. From the beginning my position has beenthis: Paterno should not have been fired until a thorough investigation uncovered the facts. Well, that thorough report is now concluded. And Paterno absolutely should have been fired. The report is absolutely damning of him and other high-ranking Penn State officials. There are still some unanswered questions, but regardless of the answers, Paterno shares a significant responsibility for Penn State's failure to stop a serial sex abuser and therefore deserved to be fired. The unanswered question, at least in my mind, is what exactly did Paterno (and other PSU officials) think had occurred after the 1998 incident with Sandusky. We now know he was aware of the investigation, as were other high ranking Penn State officials, all who previously claimed they were not previously aware of that incident. Now we know they did know, something Paterno lied about in his last media interview before he died. For argument's sake, we can even give him and the other Penn State officials the benefit of the doubt that they did not believe that the accusations against Sandusky from 1998 were true. That they did not believe them could very well be true; the police decided not to prosecute Sandusky then.
But with the fact established that they they at least knew of the accusations from 1998, there is absolutely no excuse for not taking swift action when the 2002 incident came to light. And the Freeh Report shows that Paterno, among others, made the decision not to go to police or child services in the 2002 event. We don't know why. Perhaps Paterno wasn't trying to sweep something under the rug,. Perhaps he was was just senile at that point and didn't comprehend the seriousness of it. But that is just a question of misfeasance or malfeasance then. Either way, be it by his incompetence or immorality, Paterno deserved to be fired. This incident does not erase all the great things he did. But it certainly overshadows it. This is his legacy now. And he does not seem to be the most blameworthy. Penn State's current and former officials, and the school itself, deserve what they get, be it criminal charges or massive civil liability. Quite frankly, if the NCAA gives the football program the death penalty I wouldn't think it an overstep. This is hands down the single worst scandal in all of sports in history.
Shit, this post got too serious. Better resort to a "Today on 4Chan /b/ post...:
More sweet sweet 4chan, after the jump...
Thursday, June 21, 2012
When You Have Fur There Is No Rythmic Slapping Sounds
Well, our favorite meme, Pedobear showed up to the Sandusky trial and gave a press conference. This really really upset me. This was a terrible tragedy, not something to make light of. I am referring of course to the bastardization of the Pedobear mythos.* Everyone knows Pedobear can't talk so he can't give press conferences. He is a goddamn bear! A cartoon bear who communicates with facial expressions and by holding up signs. Shame on you, man impersonating Pedobear. Though it also got me wondering. If Pedobear was around, that must surely mean his "Sundance Kid" was lurking somewhere. Where the hell was Bilbo?
Ah yes, of course, that makes sense. Sorry Jerry, you are about to find out that the only Bilbo that will turn on you faster than Buttons is Material Witness Bilbo.
* - I thought I was clever coming up with the term "Pedobear mythos" but somehow there have been three prior references to the term on the Internet. God, the Internet has a lot of sick fucks.
What a horrible time to turn 30
Well, my birthday is quickly approaching and through sheer happenstance two terrible things will damn near coincide with it. Well, I guess the one isn't really terrible...but the other one is just the WORST.
First:
Kidtouch McWeirdo is gonna be sentenced real soon. Bilbo and I disagree on many aspects of this whole shit show, but we can both agree that this trial coming to an end is a good thing. Let's get the verdict, punishment, and sentencing over with so the community can pick up the pieces and the program and continue on.
Now, onto the WORST one!
LBJ finally gets his championship. Bilbo kept saying that OKC was gonna pull it out, but we all knew better after The Heat went up 2-1. At first I was pissed knowing that he was finally gonna get one and act like a complete asshat, but I could really give a shit now. In the morning, he's still the same jackass he always was. He'll go down in history as one of the greatest to ever play the game, but he still had to team up with another superstar to get it done. Enjoy getting booed for the rest of your career.
First:
Kidtouch McWeirdo is gonna be sentenced real soon. Bilbo and I disagree on many aspects of this whole shit show, but we can both agree that this trial coming to an end is a good thing. Let's get the verdict, punishment, and sentencing over with so the community can pick up the pieces and the program and continue on.
Now, onto the WORST one!
LBJ finally gets his championship. Bilbo kept saying that OKC was gonna pull it out, but we all knew better after The Heat went up 2-1. At first I was pissed knowing that he was finally gonna get one and act like a complete asshat, but I could really give a shit now. In the morning, he's still the same jackass he always was. He'll go down in history as one of the greatest to ever play the game, but he still had to team up with another superstar to get it done. Enjoy getting booed for the rest of your career.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Oops
Well they finally released the name of the guy that was molesting that Texas man's daughter.
No way in hell they charge that father with anything. I don't ever plan on having kids, but I doubt my reaction would be much different from that father if I found some guy trying to rape my 5 year old daughter. I'd turn green, tear my shirt off, growl incoherently and then rip the guy's head off.
Yeah! Hulk Gap don't like it when you try to fuck his hypothetical daughter!
No way in hell they charge that father with anything. I don't ever plan on having kids, but I doubt my reaction would be much different from that father if I found some guy trying to rape my 5 year old daughter. I'd turn green, tear my shirt off, growl incoherently and then rip the guy's head off.
Yeah! Hulk Gap don't like it when you try to fuck his hypothetical daughter!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
I reckon she needed some killing
Good old PA back in the news.
Yeah, nothing like murdering the wife of your four children in front of a fucking WAWA. Who the shit are these people?
Hmm, I guess it could be worse.
Damn.
Yeah, nothing like murdering the wife of your four children in front of a fucking WAWA. Who the shit are these people?
Hmm, I guess it could be worse.
Damn.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Hey Kids!
Boy, that Sandusky interview sure was awesome to laugh at.
What a fucking nut. I love that his lawyer impregnated a 16 year old girl too. That's fitting. I'm really excited for this thing to play out.
What a fucking nut. I love that his lawyer impregnated a 16 year old girl too. That's fitting. I'm really excited for this thing to play out.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Worst. Week. Ever.
God, next week can't possibly be worse than the last one. JoePa was fired and his legacy was forever tarnished (because assholes like Gap jump to conclusions).
If that wasn't bad enough another role model was forced to resign this week... Everyone thinks Bill Clinton was a sweet dude.
And he was. But look at the trailer trash that guy was banging:
Come on man, you were literally the most powerful man on the planet. You could destroy entire nations or even the entire world on a whim. You clearly could have gotten way better trim than that. So that is why today we mourn the fall the of a true sweet dude world leader, Silvio Burlusconi. Silvio is such a sweet dude, when he was charged with soliciting an underage hooker, his defense called George Clooney as a witness. Baically, Silvio is such a sweet dude that is defense is "George Clooney is my wingman and he can verify that at the time the prosecution claims I was having sex wuith that underage hooker I was actually in a hot tub orgy with Clooney and four barely legal Swedish models." Or something like that, I didn't actually read the article.
But regardless, look at Lewinsky and Flowers, and then check out some of the ladies Silvio has committed adultery with:
Thoughts, Bill?
I know.
Oh and if this week couldn't possibly get worse, Weak Thrust role model and favorite actor Liam Neeson got drunk and possibly peed himself.
Seriously, there is no God.
If that wasn't bad enough another role model was forced to resign this week... Everyone thinks Bill Clinton was a sweet dude.
And he was. But look at the trailer trash that guy was banging:
Come on man, you were literally the most powerful man on the planet. You could destroy entire nations or even the entire world on a whim. You clearly could have gotten way better trim than that. So that is why today we mourn the fall the of a true sweet dude world leader, Silvio Burlusconi. Silvio is such a sweet dude, when he was charged with soliciting an underage hooker, his defense called George Clooney as a witness. Baically, Silvio is such a sweet dude that is defense is "George Clooney is my wingman and he can verify that at the time the prosecution claims I was having sex wuith that underage hooker I was actually in a hot tub orgy with Clooney and four barely legal Swedish models." Or something like that, I didn't actually read the article.
But regardless, look at Lewinsky and Flowers, and then check out some of the ladies Silvio has committed adultery with:
Thoughts, Bill?
I know.
Oh and if this week couldn't possibly get worse, Weak Thrust role model and favorite actor Liam Neeson got drunk and possibly peed himself.
Seriously, there is no God.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Gap, you ignorant slut
Well, there is not too many times we have a debate where it's these two assholes:
vs. these two assholes:
But this Penn State matter is very divisive. But let's be very clear. Brought and I are 100 percent right* and Gap and Stupid Fox are 100 percent wrong.
* - to be clear this post is my opinion, not Brought's, he can speak for himself
/takes off scumbag hat and puts on serious cap
Let me be clear. I have no idea whether Joe Paterno did something thaat justifies his firing. I can outline numerous scenarios in which he deserves serious consequences, including being immediately fired or criminally charged. I can also outline numerous scenarios where he doesn't. There is too much we don't know. What was he told? What did he understand? What did he believe? After he passed the information to his superiors, what did they tell him then and what did they tell him after. Did he follow up? What did they tell him when he followed up? What did he know about Sandusky before the incident and for the last ten years? Why was Sandusky fired? Why was he allowed to continue to have access to Penn State facilities? Who made that decision? Who knew this? Why did prosecutors look at Sandusky two different times and decline to charge him with anything? The answers to these questions and many more will dictate what should happen to Paterno. And that is why the actions of the Trustees should be condemned: they didn't know the answers to these questions and rather then do even the most summery of investigations they fired the man.
Joe Paterno literally built that university into what it was. Not just the football porogram. Penn State would be academically irrelevant without the support of that football program. He gave his life for 60 years to make that school what it was. If he covered up a horrible crime or ignored it, he deserved to be fired immediately, regardless of what he had done for that school. But for his 60 years of service, he at least deserved for someone to find out whether he did something that merited being fired before they fired him.
The Trustees did no investigation. They relied on a grand jury report, which has very little to do with Paterno and really has no weight anyway. I am a lawyer. A grand jury report has zero weight. New York State chief judge Sol Wachtler famously said that a grand jury would 'indict a ham sandwich,' if that's what you wanted. Grand jury proceedings are a joke. It is just a prosecutor presenting enough of a case so he can get an indictment (i.e. bring charges). The other side doesn't get to present anything. It is in the subsequent trial when the facts come out. So based on what amounts to ma meaningless report with no evidentiary weight that wasn't even about Paterno, the Trustees fired him. They didn't even ask him what happened before they did.
And let's look at the Trustees. They are the ones ultimately responsible. They are in charge. They appoint the administration. They set policies. Yet I didn't see all of them resign. No, they fired Paterno for one reason: not because it was the right thing to do, not because they knew he shared in the blame, but because they are trying to save their own ass. It was a PR move to appease the national media. And you don't end a legend's 60 year old career, one of the most respected men in all sports and in the state, on a PR whim. Maybe when all the facts come out, it will turn out Paterno deserved to be fired. But hat doesn't exonerate the Trustee's actions. That is like saying if I walk outside and shoot a random stranger in the face that I am exonerated if it turns out that guy was a serial killer. People deserve due process before they are punished. Sandusky will get due process. Paterno did not.
The victims, those accused, the Penn State community, and the public at large deserve a full investigation. Only then can we have a full understanding of what happened, make sure the Right people face consequences, and make sure it never happens again. The Trustee's actions only made that harder. Why should Paterno cooperate with them now? He shouldn't. The only reason he had to cooperate with them was to salvage his job and leave with dignity. They took that and so why should he expose himself to potential civil and criminal liability to help them?
The ONLY argument I have heard in support of him being fired is that if he was on the sidelines this Saturday that it would send a horrible message to to the victims. Except that isn't true. Says the actual victims. Let me quote from their lawyer who is a lawyer and member of an organization dedicated to counseling child sex abuse victims:
The board of trustees got it wrong. They should have consulted the victims before making a decision on Mr. Paterno," Ben Andreozzi said. "They should have considered these victims watch TV and are aware of the students' reaction and may not want to be associated with the downfall of Mr. Paterno. The school instead elected to do what it felt was in its own best interest at the time. Isn’t that what put the school in this position in the first place? "The way the Board reached its decision raises more concerns than the decision itself. There is no indication the Board considered the impact of the decision on the abuse victims," Andreozzi continued. "The school let the victims down once, and I think they owed it to the victims to at least gauge how the immediate termination decision would impact them as opposed to Mr. Paterno's resignation at the end of the year. These victims do not live in a bubble.
So, let's be clear. The Trustees not only didn't speak to Paterno they didn't even consult with the victims. The Trustees didn't act in the interest of the victims, they acted in their own self- interest. As the victims' lawyer said, that is exactly what caused this mess in the first place.
I really hope those victims get justice and I hope the persons responsible are punished. But the firing of Paterno right now only harmed that goal, it didn't help it. We shouldn't be condemning Paterno, at least not yet. We should be condemning the University however, who unquestionably is responsible and who now is more concerned about saving their own asses even if it means throwing a possibly innocent man under the bus.
Also, I never read that book.
vs. these two assholes:
But this Penn State matter is very divisive. But let's be very clear. Brought and I are 100 percent right* and Gap and Stupid Fox are 100 percent wrong.
* - to be clear this post is my opinion, not Brought's, he can speak for himself
/takes off scumbag hat and puts on serious cap
Let me be clear. I have no idea whether Joe Paterno did something thaat justifies his firing. I can outline numerous scenarios in which he deserves serious consequences, including being immediately fired or criminally charged. I can also outline numerous scenarios where he doesn't. There is too much we don't know. What was he told? What did he understand? What did he believe? After he passed the information to his superiors, what did they tell him then and what did they tell him after. Did he follow up? What did they tell him when he followed up? What did he know about Sandusky before the incident and for the last ten years? Why was Sandusky fired? Why was he allowed to continue to have access to Penn State facilities? Who made that decision? Who knew this? Why did prosecutors look at Sandusky two different times and decline to charge him with anything? The answers to these questions and many more will dictate what should happen to Paterno. And that is why the actions of the Trustees should be condemned: they didn't know the answers to these questions and rather then do even the most summery of investigations they fired the man.
Joe Paterno literally built that university into what it was. Not just the football porogram. Penn State would be academically irrelevant without the support of that football program. He gave his life for 60 years to make that school what it was. If he covered up a horrible crime or ignored it, he deserved to be fired immediately, regardless of what he had done for that school. But for his 60 years of service, he at least deserved for someone to find out whether he did something that merited being fired before they fired him.
The Trustees did no investigation. They relied on a grand jury report, which has very little to do with Paterno and really has no weight anyway. I am a lawyer. A grand jury report has zero weight. New York State chief judge Sol Wachtler famously said that a grand jury would 'indict a ham sandwich,' if that's what you wanted. Grand jury proceedings are a joke. It is just a prosecutor presenting enough of a case so he can get an indictment (i.e. bring charges). The other side doesn't get to present anything. It is in the subsequent trial when the facts come out. So based on what amounts to ma meaningless report with no evidentiary weight that wasn't even about Paterno, the Trustees fired him. They didn't even ask him what happened before they did.
And let's look at the Trustees. They are the ones ultimately responsible. They are in charge. They appoint the administration. They set policies. Yet I didn't see all of them resign. No, they fired Paterno for one reason: not because it was the right thing to do, not because they knew he shared in the blame, but because they are trying to save their own ass. It was a PR move to appease the national media. And you don't end a legend's 60 year old career, one of the most respected men in all sports and in the state, on a PR whim. Maybe when all the facts come out, it will turn out Paterno deserved to be fired. But hat doesn't exonerate the Trustee's actions. That is like saying if I walk outside and shoot a random stranger in the face that I am exonerated if it turns out that guy was a serial killer. People deserve due process before they are punished. Sandusky will get due process. Paterno did not.
The victims, those accused, the Penn State community, and the public at large deserve a full investigation. Only then can we have a full understanding of what happened, make sure the Right people face consequences, and make sure it never happens again. The Trustee's actions only made that harder. Why should Paterno cooperate with them now? He shouldn't. The only reason he had to cooperate with them was to salvage his job and leave with dignity. They took that and so why should he expose himself to potential civil and criminal liability to help them?
The ONLY argument I have heard in support of him being fired is that if he was on the sidelines this Saturday that it would send a horrible message to to the victims. Except that isn't true. Says the actual victims. Let me quote from their lawyer who is a lawyer and member of an organization dedicated to counseling child sex abuse victims:
The board of trustees got it wrong. They should have consulted the victims before making a decision on Mr. Paterno," Ben Andreozzi said. "They should have considered these victims watch TV and are aware of the students' reaction and may not want to be associated with the downfall of Mr. Paterno. The school instead elected to do what it felt was in its own best interest at the time. Isn’t that what put the school in this position in the first place? "The way the Board reached its decision raises more concerns than the decision itself. There is no indication the Board considered the impact of the decision on the abuse victims," Andreozzi continued. "The school let the victims down once, and I think they owed it to the victims to at least gauge how the immediate termination decision would impact them as opposed to Mr. Paterno's resignation at the end of the year. These victims do not live in a bubble.
So, let's be clear. The Trustees not only didn't speak to Paterno they didn't even consult with the victims. The Trustees didn't act in the interest of the victims, they acted in their own self- interest. As the victims' lawyer said, that is exactly what caused this mess in the first place.
I really hope those victims get justice and I hope the persons responsible are punished. But the firing of Paterno right now only harmed that goal, it didn't help it. We shouldn't be condemning Paterno, at least not yet. We should be condemning the University however, who unquestionably is responsible and who now is more concerned about saving their own asses even if it means throwing a possibly innocent man under the bus.
Also, I never read that book.
Dear Asshole Kids Rioting in Penn State
What if you were the ones that had been raped right up your asses and Paterno literally did next to nothing after being informed? Would you worthless fags still be standing by his side and flipping vans? I think not. I think you'd be in therapy.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Pembry is Pissed
(meanwhile at beNNate Syndicate...)
Emma: Pembry...
Pembry: What?
Emma: It is about fantasy football...
Pembry: I told you, I stopped caring about fantasy football.
Emma: Yeah but... well you should just see this.
/Emma shows Pembry photo
Pembry: THAT WIFE-FUCKING BACK-STABBING BASTARD. AND THAT NO GOOD CHEATING MOP!
/Pembry storms into Ashley's suite
Pembry: YOU WHORE!
Ashley: Oh don't you even start mister!
Pembry: What the fuck are you doing with that boringly overage hick?
Ashley: Why are you spending all your time with that home wrecker Emma? And why aren't we in skits anymore? I am your wife! She is your fact checker! We are supposed to be in skits. You rarely do them at all and when you do we aren't in them.
Pembry: News flash! You stopped being relevant and she started being 18. No one cares about either of you!
Ashley: That hurts Pemby!
Pembry: PembRy. With a goddamn R! Whatever whore, I don't even care enough to hobble you!
/Pembry storms out and heads to 5head fetish fantasy football corporation
Pembry: Gentleman! I am back. Who did I put in charge here while I was gone?
Jerry: Me sir.
Pembry: Well GTFO! I am back in charge. OK, who is my QB? Peyton? Devil Eyes?
(door flies open...)
Permbry: Wipe that goddamn smirk off your face! You are terrible this year. And you are making V-Jax worthless. If I didn't respect you so goddamn much for being such an arrogant obnoxious hot-headed asshole, I'd probably bench you. Not GTFO. MoJo?
(door flies open...)
Pembry: You tiny little bastard, if I wanted a RB worth 9 points every week i would have drafted S Jax. Now GTFO! Chris Johnson?
(door flies open...)
/Pembry gets tear in eye
Pembry: He's my Running-back Pa, I'll shoot him.
/Pembry takes Chris Johnson behind shed and shoots him
Pembry: The rest of you?
(door flies open...)
Pembry: I have no idea who any of you are. GTFO! Now go win this week. We gotta make the playoffs and crush that asshole Gap for fucking my wife. Now what's our record? I assume we are in first? Tied for first?
/Pembry sees record
Pembry: Oh damn! Good luck with all that.
/Pembry hands clipboard back to Jerry and skulks away
Pembry: Plan B I guess.
Ashley: Pembry, I will never cheat on you again, I swear!
Pembry: I know that you won’t, dear.
/cue Moonlight Sonata
Pembry: Ashley, do you know about the early days at the beNNate diamond mines?
Ashley: Pembry, what are you talking about? Why are you wearing that dress?
Pembry: Do you know what they did to the native workers who stole diamonds?
Ashley: Pembry… you already did this in a skit. Almost word for word!
Pembry: Don't worry. They didn't kill them. That would be like junking a Mercedes just because it had a broken spring.
Ashley: Pembry, turn off that music. You are creeping me out… at least do something different. This is lazy. This is basically the skit version of The Hangover 2...
Pembry: No, they had to make sure they could go on working, but they also had to make sure they could never run away. The operation was called "hobbling”.
Ashley: Pembry... whatever you're thinking about doing, please don't do it.
/Pembry gets out sledgehammer
Ashley: Pembry, for God's sake...
Pembry: Shh, darling. Trust me. It's for the best.
Ashley: Pembry, please!
/Pembry hobbles left ankle
Ashley: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Pembry: Almost done. Just one more.
/Pembry hobbles right ankle
Ashley: AAAHH!!!! GGOOODDDDUUUUUUHH!!!!!!!!!
Pembry: God, I love you.
Pembry: (shouting to heavens) You can't sodomize my mop wife in the shower when her ass is planted in a wheelchair you asshole! Also I never read that book!
(meanwhile...)
Emma: Did you hear something?
Gap: Nah.
Emma: No, it sounded like someone yelling.
Gap: Just your imagination.
Brought: No, I think she is right.
Gap: You are really a sick fuck, you know that?
Emma: Pembry...
Pembry: What?
Emma: It is about fantasy football...
Pembry: I told you, I stopped caring about fantasy football.
Emma: Yeah but... well you should just see this.
/Emma shows Pembry photo
Pembry: THAT WIFE-FUCKING BACK-STABBING BASTARD. AND THAT NO GOOD CHEATING MOP!
/Pembry storms into Ashley's suite
Pembry: YOU WHORE!
Ashley: Oh don't you even start mister!
Pembry: What the fuck are you doing with that boringly overage hick?
Ashley: Why are you spending all your time with that home wrecker Emma? And why aren't we in skits anymore? I am your wife! She is your fact checker! We are supposed to be in skits. You rarely do them at all and when you do we aren't in them.
Pembry: News flash! You stopped being relevant and she started being 18. No one cares about either of you!
Ashley: That hurts Pemby!
Pembry: PembRy. With a goddamn R! Whatever whore, I don't even care enough to hobble you!
/Pembry storms out and heads to 5head fetish fantasy football corporation
Pembry: Gentleman! I am back. Who did I put in charge here while I was gone?
Jerry: Me sir.
Pembry: Well GTFO! I am back in charge. OK, who is my QB? Peyton? Devil Eyes?
(door flies open...)
Permbry: Wipe that goddamn smirk off your face! You are terrible this year. And you are making V-Jax worthless. If I didn't respect you so goddamn much for being such an arrogant obnoxious hot-headed asshole, I'd probably bench you. Not GTFO. MoJo?
(door flies open...)
Pembry: You tiny little bastard, if I wanted a RB worth 9 points every week i would have drafted S Jax. Now GTFO! Chris Johnson?
(door flies open...)
/Pembry gets tear in eye
Pembry: He's my Running-back Pa, I'll shoot him.
/Pembry takes Chris Johnson behind shed and shoots him
Pembry: The rest of you?
(door flies open...)
Pembry: I have no idea who any of you are. GTFO! Now go win this week. We gotta make the playoffs and crush that asshole Gap for fucking my wife. Now what's our record? I assume we are in first? Tied for first?
/Pembry sees record
Pembry: Oh damn! Good luck with all that.
/Pembry hands clipboard back to Jerry and skulks away
Pembry: Plan B I guess.
Ashley: Pembry, I will never cheat on you again, I swear!
Pembry: I know that you won’t, dear.
/cue Moonlight Sonata
Pembry: Ashley, do you know about the early days at the beNNate diamond mines?
Ashley: Pembry, what are you talking about? Why are you wearing that dress?
Pembry: Do you know what they did to the native workers who stole diamonds?
Ashley: Pembry… you already did this in a skit. Almost word for word!
Pembry: Don't worry. They didn't kill them. That would be like junking a Mercedes just because it had a broken spring.
Ashley: Pembry, turn off that music. You are creeping me out… at least do something different. This is lazy. This is basically the skit version of The Hangover 2...
Pembry: No, they had to make sure they could go on working, but they also had to make sure they could never run away. The operation was called "hobbling”.
Ashley: Pembry... whatever you're thinking about doing, please don't do it.
/Pembry gets out sledgehammer
Ashley: Pembry, for God's sake...
Pembry: Shh, darling. Trust me. It's for the best.
Ashley: Pembry, please!
/Pembry hobbles left ankle
Ashley: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Pembry: Almost done. Just one more.
/Pembry hobbles right ankle
Ashley: AAAHH!!!! GGOOODDDDUUUUUUHH!!!!!!!!!
Pembry: God, I love you.
Pembry: (shouting to heavens) You can't sodomize my mop wife in the shower when her ass is planted in a wheelchair you asshole! Also I never read that book!
(meanwhile...)
Emma: Did you hear something?
Gap: Nah.
Emma: No, it sounded like someone yelling.
Gap: Just your imagination.
Brought: No, I think she is right.
Gap: You are really a sick fuck, you know that?
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