Things Could Be Looking Scary for L2

Lindsay Lohan may have gone back to her more natural ginger hair, but her career’s still far from red-H-O-T, IMHO.

Sure, L2 has Liz & Dick coming up, but now comes word that she’s in talks to join the cast of – gasp! – Scary Movie 5, which already has Ashley Tisdale on board.

Look, I appreciate that work is work, but this is still L2 we’re talking about. She’s made her bed, but given the fact that she worked with Robert Altman once upon a time, she should hold herself to a higher professional esteem (and continue holding herself to the highest personal esteem, too, for a change).

Hollywood sure ain’t gonna throw her a bone by letting her near any A-List material, so here’s my unasked-for advice for Linds: girlfriend should either gun for small supporting parts in indies (heartfelt ones, none of that edgy s--- she insists on gravitating toward), or do some theater (not Broadway – go off to a quiet theater town in the northeast and work on her craft).

Or, now that her legal fees are probably not piling up, she should call up Tina Fey and pay her to write her a nice script.

Then, perhaps, she’ll be both physically and artistically ready for a true comeback because, I’m sorry, Scary Movie 5 isn’t going going to take her out of Punchlineville.

Photo: People.com.

She’s Kidding, Right?

Oy with the drama already, Lindsay Lohan.

Yes, another day...another drama: L2 reportedly was found unconscious in her Ritz-Carlton-Marina del Rey hotel room today. She was supposedly rushed to the hospital, but that didn’t actually happen. Paramedics were called to the non-scene scene, just in case.

When all was said and done, it turns out Lohan was just...tired.

“Lindsay worked a grueling scheduling [on Lifetime’s Liz & Dick],” her rep said. “She was on set last night at 7 p.m. and worked through the night until 8 a.m. this morning. She took a nap before shooting. Producers were concerned when she did not come out of her room and called paramedics as a precaution.”

Yeah, probably ’cause they thought she was catching a snooze with the help of her friend Xanax or som’in’. (Allegedly.)

Seriously, Linds – get it the f--- together. You were exhausted and dehydrated from working too much on the set of your movie? You think that’s hard? Talk to a road paver. And stay out of trouble. That car accident earlier this week did nothing to ingratiate you with what little public you have left. This ain’t helping any.

Photo: AceShowbiz.com.

In Liz Costume

Here she is: It’s Lindsay Lohan in full Elizabeth Taylor costume (that tacky ciggie, I do believe, is pure La Lohan, though), reclaiming her own real-life role as an actress.

The first pic of back-to-brunette L2 made its way to the Web yesterday, and the response was...not great.

Like, the lot of comments I read online likened her more to Joan Crawford than to Taylor.

Ouchie.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see how Lifetime’s Liz & Dick, co-starring Grant Bowler as Richard Burton, turns up before we pass informed judgment. In the meantime, click here for another look-see at Linds as Liz, this time in a leopard-print one-piece bathing suit.

Photo: Towleroad.com.

Update: Now check out this official first pic of Lohan and Bowler in character.

Officially Liz

OMG, our and her patience has paid off because it’s finally happening: Lindsay Lohan is getting ready to work again.

L2 will reclaim her role as an actual actress now she’s officially set to star as the late, great Elizabeth Taylor in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick, a chronicle of one of Hollywood’s greatest love affairs penned by Christopher Monger, the same talent who wrote HBO’s Temple Grandin.

The movie is scheduled to begin production in June. Fingers crossed Lohan can stay out of trouble until and beyond that point.

Speaking of, said Linds of scoring the part, “I have always admired and had enormous respect for Elizabeth Taylor. She was not only an incredible actress but an amazing woman as well. I am very honored to have been asked to play this role.”

Hope La Lohan can make us proud and show us she’s worthy of my calling her that.

Photo: MTV.com.

And In April 2012 Lindsay Lohan Legal Woes News...

Can someone send Lindsay Lohan some sage?

Girlfriend has got to burn that s--- around her house because, clearly, she is some kind of jinxed.

The latest? L2’s being accused of battery.

Some lady is alleging that Lohan shoved her at a West Hollywood club last week, and now the WeHo Sheriff Station is looking into the matter.

Linds’ publicist, of course, is denying anything of the sort took place, adding that this woman is probably just looking to get famous or paid or both.

Still, though, legal woes for L2 are the gift that keeps on giving.

Just last month, she was accused of hitting and running (an accusation that hasn’t held much water – GTS).

It really is almost as if someone or something is keen on keeping the no-longer-on-legal-probation girl embroiled in some drama, huh.

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

A Gleeful Ahead

Ooh, childs – Lindsay Lohan is totally into this comeback of hers...so be darned, alleged driving incidents.

Evidently, the remember-she-was-an-actress is in serious talks to play herself on the Nationals episode of TV’s Glee.

Guess all is forgiven – the powers that be notoriously had Gwyneth Paltrow’s Holly Holliday slam L2 on an ep last seaon – and La Lohan is moving forward with her life.

Good next move, girl.

And best of luck to ya on seeing that Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime biopic happen!

Photo: OnlineTV-blog.blogspot.com.

Update 1: Consider this done: Linds has been cast. (Yay.)

Update 2: Whoopi Goldberg also is set to guest on the show, as the New York professor evaluating Rachel (Lea Michele) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) as they audition for NYADA.

It Just Never Stops with L2, Huh

Just when you think Lindsay Lohan’s gotten it together, something goes and happens.

L2 reportedly grazed a pedestrian yesterday as she attempted a U-turn in the parking of some Hollywood lounge. Now, while the injured party was received medical attention, he was A-OK, and Linds was driving while impaired...by the incessant flashes from the paparazzi. By the time the cops got to the scene, she wasn’t there anymore.

Worry not, though: the incident was not classified as a hit and run (although the guy, the manager of the establishment where she had been a celebrating a birthday, could very press charges).

Still – when will this sort of thing be finally purged from the Lohan narrative?

I tell ya....

Photo: DailyMail.co.uk.

Update: Lohan is calling bull on the accusations, dubbing them “absurd,” while her rep says the actress is confident this will all be cleared up in the next few days.

Back to Red

Lindsay Lohan’s gotten back to her roots, and gone back to red.

To which I say about time, girl. And why couldn’t you have done this last week ahead of your so-so SNL outing?

I mean....

Photo: UsMagazine.com.

A Good March for L2

Could Lindsay Lohan really be back on the straight and narrow?

Well, let’s see: Last week came the one-two-punch news that not only is L2 hosting SNL on March 3, she also got a glowing review from the judge overseeing her probation case (her probation is set to be lifted at the end of the month, barring any ill-advised last-minute shenanigans).

And, it was announced today that La Lohan will make her return to the Today show on March 1, to sit down with Matt Lauer, who, I bet, will not let her off the hook easy (hope the girl shows maturity in her taped interview).

Suddenly, NBC is feeling very Must Watch TV-y again.

Yo, Peacock – you better send the girl flowers. And keep an eye on her this weekend, OK?

Photo: EW.com.

Studio 8H Welcomes L2

Well, I guess when the chips are down you can always go home...if you happen to be Lindsay Lohan and that home is Studio 8H, the house of Saturday Night Live.

Yes, folks, La Lohan is set to host the show on March 3. Jack White will be the musical guest.

The gig will serve a good opportunity for Linds to promote her...uhh...I got nothing. Her new attitude toward her life?

She doesn’t have any project to plug, but a gig is a gig, and SNL has notoriously kept as mum as possible on all the girl’s problems over the years.

Perhaps Lorne Michaels can convince L2 to go back to red...or, at least, to add some strawberry into that dye. I am not feeling that beyond-bleached look.

Photo: NationalConfidential.com.

Update: Goodness, are pigs flying?

Linds got a good review from the judge overseeing her strict probation schedule on Feb. 22.

Has the girl finally turned over a new leaf?

La Lohan As La Liz

Lindsay Lohan, that luckiest of lucky Hollywood bitches, could be playing one of Tinseltown’s most iconic legends soon.

No, not Marilyn Monroe – much to her chagrin, I bet – but the late Elizabeth Taylor.

For Lifetime.

Hey, a gig is a gig.

Lohan is said to be starring in the cabler’s Elizabeth & Richard: A Love Story, a chronicle of Taylor’s romance with Richard Burton. No one has been mentioned for the part of the actress’ paramour yet.

Mmm...those are some pretty big, dame-y shoes to fill, Linds. Keep it classy, give it your all, and this could put you back on the acting track, alright.

Photo: LATimes.com.

The Clothes Stay On for This One

Lindsay Lohan has gotten herself a new job, and this time she didn’t have to bare it all.

L2 is the new face and body of Jag Jeans.

Photographer Yu Tsai shot the campaign, which is way more flattering to Lohan (and her what’s left of her so-called career at this point) than her Playboy layout.

Yeah, I’ve never heard of ’em, either, but I’m just not their demo.

Photo: Chemical-Magazine.com.