Monday Morning Thoughts

Oh my, what a  weekend. Went down and celebrated buddy's 30th birthday party on Saturday, which was lovely. I forgot how loud bars are though. It was really hard to hear what everyone was saying. I just kept asking everyone to repeat themselves until I gave up and started chugging beer. I think I need was of those old timey ear cone things.

I went to see Dark Knight Rises twice in  a 24 hour span too, which was nice. It's bittersweet for me though. The first time I sat there almost depressed that this was the last Nolan/Bale Batman I was ever going to get to see. As always, they did a wonderful job pulling the story from the comics and adapting it for the screen. Although, at this point, those aren't really superhero movies. I'd say they're more like crime dramas or something. Comparing that to Spiderman or The Avengers is like apples and oranges. There's a dark tone throughout the movie and it takes itself very seriously. I'm very curious as to what they would've done had Heath survived. While Bane is the villain in Batman's greatest story, The Joker is and always has been Batman's greatest foe. The two could never coexist in one movie, so it would've been really interesting to see what he'd have done. Spoilers after the jump!




The wonderful thing about Bane is that he is Batman's physical and intellectual equal, some would argue his superior. You never get to see that with other Batman villains. There's something about watching Batman confront someone he realizes he cannot beat. Bale does a phenomenal job conveying the despair he feels in his first battle with Bane. It's basically what The Matrix tries to capture with Agent Smith and Neo, but it never works, because two of those films were terrible. You always want to pull for a hero that knows he cannot win, but persists anyway.

Catwoman was great in the movie, and I'm not just saying that because I want to bury my wang between Anne Hathaway's cans and go to town. This was the truest adaptation of her from the comics. She is a two dimensional character in the comics, so it's really hard to give her a deep storyline. Nolan did a great job sprinkling her in. She's selfish but she has a good heart and she's essentially a femme fatale. It was masterfully done.

I'm not here to argue weak points of the film. I've read a few reviews where people bash the predictability of the film...Um, good typically triumphs over evil...what the fuck did you think was going to happen in the end? The bomb goes off and levels Gotham? You're stupid. All of the other minor gripes were the length of the film (I wish it would've been longer) and other lamer shit. I don't really take minor plot holes into consideration either. A certain amount of willful suspension of disbelief has to be made with every movie, so just deal with it...

And now, Tom Hardy. What a lovely man. Excellent casting as Bane. He was basically unable to use half of his face, so his use of body language was phenomenal. They also did a great job shooting it in such a way that he seems much larger than Batman. In the comics, Bane hulks over everyone.

Robin. Oh Robin. Everyone hates Robin. Fun Fact: DC comics had a poll for the fans to decide what happens to Robin in one of their storylines. He was captured by The Joker and the fans voted on what was going to happen to him. They chose to have The Joker kill him. It was a landslide. All that aside, Robin Blake in this was great. There have been many Robins, this one was supposed to Tim Drake, I believe. Now, my assumption is that he actually takes up the mantle of the bat, and does not actually become Robin.

The war for Gotham finale was just tremendous too. Such a great way for Batman to hand the city back to the citizens and be remembered as a hero. I think the movie would've been more powerful had he died and been "carried back on his shield", but I'm happy that he lived and started a new life. It's a fitting end that is uplifting and appropriate for the trilogy's conclusion.

My final note about the film is Talia al Ghul. There's way to much history between her and Batman to really get into (They fucked and she had Batman's kid!). I do like that everything came back to Ra's, The League of Shadows and the destruction of Gotham. Trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something new, and Nolan did a fantastic job with that.

Monday Morning Thoughts

Oh ho ho BABY! You can't get me down Monday because I saw fucking Dark Knight Rises! HA! Anyways...

... Like I said, saw DKR. Loved it. LOVED IT! Aside from saying that I have a serious mancrush on Tom Hardy these days and Marion Cotillard's forehead mole is stunningly gross on IMAX, I'm not going to get into the nuts and bolts. I'm excitedly waiting for Gap to do that. He knows a fuckload about Batman...

... So Penn State is getting unprecedented sanctions against the football program. Terrific. I know why the NCAA has to do it. They have no choice. This is an unprecedented scandal that traces directly to protecting a brand. But for me, it all goes back to how sanctions like this are handed out. It's a shame new regimes and players constantly have to pay the price for the mistakes of people who had nothing to do with them. Did Kiffin's USC have anything to do with Carroll and Bush? No. Did Al Golden use Nevin Shapiro to get recruits? Nope. And have any players who passed through Penn State have anything to do with covering up Sandusky's molestation? Not in the least (except McQueary, but by then he was a coach, not a player). I feel bad for the kids on this team. I feel bad for the new coaching staff. I feel worst for the victims of Sandusky though and that is why I have no problem with the NCAA doing what they have to do. I just wish there was a different way of handling college football scandals that didn't include punishing kids who weren't even there yet. (see Barkley, Matt, who couldn't compete for a national championship until his senior year of college because some asshole took a quarter million dollars from a USC booster when Barkley was a freshman in high school).

It's almost here!

The thrilling conclusion to what will go down as the best movie trilogy of all-time! BATMAN!

No, Batman! It's BANE this time! Granted, he's no Joker, but he'll do just fine. I mean, Bane was the main villain in the greatest Batman graphic novel series ever: Knightfall. Those of you that haven't read this should sprint to the nearest store where books are sold and fucking buy them. Oh, they don't make book stores anymore? Well, just go fucking download it then! Based on the previews, the majority of Dark Knight Rises is pulled from those pages. That makes me so fucking happy!

RE: Jimbo not doing his homework.

You poor fool. Batman has already faced an entire island comprised of dinosaurs.

It's funny because I caught this rerun a few weeks ago. I believe it actually started out as robotic dinosaurs in the original comics, but it has since changed into actual dinosaurs. Batman had his hands full, but he beat those filthy beasts with the help of his superior intellect and billion dollar gadgets. Everyone always forgets the gadgets. It's an ever-changing array in his utility belt. Usually based on the character he is fighting. When he goes to Metropolis, he brings kryptonite because he's afraid Superman may go off his rocker and try to destroy the planet. He has anti-venom when he fight Poison Ivy, Subzero batsuit when he fights Mr. Freeze, and the list goes on. It's his preparation that allows him to best most of his foes. Know thy enemy...

I mean, I guess it's possible Batman wouldn't be prepared to face them if he had a stroke or something before heading out to fight the dinosaurs...Odds are he'd forget some gadgets if that happened. 

Bottom line: That artist's painting is completely inaccurate. Batman isn't foolish enough to get into a fist fight with a dinosaur. He's the World's Greatest Detective, not the World's Greatest Detective Eaten by Dinosaurs.

Major Homer

As I mentioned in my MMT, The Dark Knight Rises is quickly approaching. I'm fucking ecstatic to see Nolan's epic conclusion to this masterpiece. There are a few things that really set this franchise apart from other superhero movies.

At the heart of it you have Batman. Some would argue that he's not even a real superhero. I would agree. He's a haunted man trying to avenge his parents' murder. You could argue that he's trying to prevent what happened to him from happening to anyone else, but that's ridiculous. It's vengeance for the pain he feels, plain and simple.

The fact that he isn't a real superhero is arguably one of his greatest traits. It's what draws you in, knowing that he can be on the losing end of a fight. Hell, he could be killed at just about any moment. He knows this and yet he persists. It's amazing. I've read dozens of comics where he is on the losing end. He's watched loved ones dies, been broken, and yet he finds a way to continue. It is that aspect of his mythology that is lost on other superheros. Shit like that never happens to Superman or Ironman (yeah, when he puts on the suit, he's a fucking superhero.). Sure, they face adversity, but you always know everything will work out in the end.

Nolan recognizes all of this and has done a beautiful job putting it on the big screen. I love the fact that he refuses to do another Batman film after this (along with Bale). Anything can happen. Batman could prevail, or he could die fighting Bane. It could be Reservoir Dogs before this thing is over.