"My newest hobby is hiding in the bushes outside of Gap's house and listening to him watch movies. I can't see him because he keeps the blinds closed, but I can hear him. And it's weird. For instance, when watching horror movies, he never JO's to the intricate death scenes and instead pleasures himself to the happy ending where the survivors are hugging each other. I knew he was a sick fuck, but what the hell? JOing to smiles and joyful crying? What kind of perv does that? Three days ago I caught up with him watching Julius Caesar. I know, strange right? Then he just starts pounding the hell out of himself during Charlton Heston's eulogy and screams 'Friends, Romans, countrymen, BOOM!' Then he bawled. A lot. And that's when I finally got mine." -Brought
I've been watching Game of Thrones a lot lately and it's really gotten me into Carrier Pigeons as a means of communication. I've amassed roughly 30 pigeons. I send them out with messages daily. Most of them go to Sean Bean, but I've also sent a few to some other people. Here are some messages I sent the other week:
"I don't care how famous you get, if I ever see you in public, I'll shove a trident up your cunt, Elle Fanning."
"Clive, how could you want Julia Roberts over Natalie Portman? That old bitch is disgusting! Kudos for sticking it to Jude Law though."
"Dear Albert Fish, love your work."
"Viv, we're out of low fat cottage cheese and paper towels."
"Turd, thanks for raising my children as your own." -Gap
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