Weak Thust Movie Trailers

Doctor: Country.

Emo Ostrich: England.

Doctor: Gun.

Emo Ostrich: Shot.

Doctor: Agent.

Emo Ostrich: Provocateur.

Doctor: Murder.

Emo Ostrich: Employment.

Doctor: SkyBilbo.

Emo Ostrich: ...

Doctor: SkyBilbo.

Emo Ostrich: Done...

/Emo Ostrich storms out of interrogation room

Emo Ostrich: Hmph!

If you make yourself more than just a man.  If your devote yourself to an ideal.  Then you become something else entirely.

A troll, Mr. Turd.  A troll.

Dying Tommy Jarvis: We were in this together.  And then you were gone.  Now there's evil rising.  The Turd must come back.

Turd: What if he doesn't exist anymore?


Dying Tommy Jarvis: He must... he must...






Catwoman: There's a storm coming...


Pembry: You sound like you're looking forward to it.

Catwoman: You and your friends better batten down the hatches.   Because when it hits, you're all going to wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little cod for the rest of us...

Eugene: What are you?

Mr. Horse: I'm Weak Thrust's derktory.

Eugene: What?

/Mr. Horse takes off mask that makes him impossible to understand

Mr. Horse: I'm Weak Thrust's reckoning....

Turd: Why didn't you just kill me?

Mr. Horse: Your trolling must be more severe.  When Weak Thrust is ashes, you have my permission to die.

Hope is lost.  Faith is broken.  A troll will rise.

Catwoman: You don't owe these people anymore.  You've given them everything.

Turd: Not everything.  Not yet...

On July 20

The epic conclusion

To the Turd legend.

Turd: 'sup?

/Turd sips beer

Turd: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

 A king has his reign.

And then it goes awry.  It is inevitable.

5head Nic: These are ancient civilizations that were separated by centuries  and yet this same pictogram was discovered at every one of them.

Ashley: I think they want us to come and find them.
 

Prometheus has landed.

 
Emma: We're all here because of a map you found in a cave

Pembry: Not a map, an invitation.

Emma: From whom?

Pembry: Meh...


Ashley: Prometheus, are you seeing this?

 

Emma: Whatever that probe is picking up, it's reading a life form.

 Pembry: What do you mean a life form?

(plan goes awry)

 

Ashley: Are these things moving?

 Pembry: What is that?

5head Nic: It's a ship...  They're leaving.

Pembry: To go where?

5head Nic: Earth...

Ashley: We were so wrong!!!




Pembry: Take us home!!!

 Emma: If we don't stop it, there wont be a home to go back to!

/queue creepy halting screeching music

 

/facehuggers attach to Emma and Ashley

Pembry: Oh damn!

/Pembry skulks away

 

This life is not an easy one.  

 I've made enemies.

 Powerful enemies.

Put those I love in danger.

 But there is one thing that has haunted me my entire life....

 WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T PEMBRY PUT ME IN THE DARK KNIGHT RISING SKIT

Pembry tries to class this place up

RE: WCW

Weekend Recap: Pembry Realizes He Has to Root For Either the Pats or Tebow

Worst. Week. Ever.

God, next week can't possibly be worse than the last one. JoePa was fired and his legacy was forever tarnished (because assholes like Gap jump to conclusions).



If that wasn't bad enough another role model was forced to resign this week... Everyone thinks Bill Clinton was a sweet dude.



And he was. But look at the trailer trash that guy was banging:







Come on man, you were literally the most powerful man on the planet. You could destroy entire nations or even the entire world on a whim. You clearly could have gotten way better trim than that. So that is why today we mourn the fall the of a true sweet dude world leader, Silvio Burlusconi. Silvio is such a sweet dude, when he was charged with soliciting an underage hooker, his defense called George Clooney as a witness. Baically, Silvio is such a sweet dude that is defense is "George Clooney is my wingman and he can verify that at the time the prosecution claims I was having sex wuith that underage hooker I was actually in a hot tub orgy with Clooney and four barely legal Swedish models." Or something like that, I didn't actually read the article.

But regardless, look at Lewinsky and Flowers, and then check out some of the ladies Silvio has committed adultery with:












Thoughts, Bill?



I know.

Oh and if this week couldn't possibly get worse, Weak Thrust role model and favorite actor Liam Neeson got drunk and possibly peed himself.



Seriously, there is no God.