Polish that turd

So, you assholes want to change your logo, huh?


Well, let me throw my hat in the ring and suggest a few possible logos:

The Pro Football Hall of Fame Reviewed

Pembry loves him some pro football and he loves him some American history.  So he particularly enjoyed his trip last week to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Sucktown Canton, Ohio.  Here are some highlights.

Philly Super Bowl(ish) Champs!



Speaking of no Super Bowls...

The fuck is that thing?  According to the placard, it is an old timey noseguard that very few if any players ever wore.  So let me get this straight.  You put in the Hall of Fame an artifact that has little to no connection to football's actual history?  Basically, someone found that thing stored in some warehouse and thought it looked creepy and decided to just toss it in a display case.  Hell, just give the mannaquin a knife penis while you are at it...

Help me Obi Wan Kanobi.  You're my only hope.


Now as much as I enjoy football and history, the things I love even more are hubris, smugness, and trolling.  And there was plenty of that abound in the "Other Leagues" room.  For background, the Pro Football Hall of Fame is pretty small.  Yet, in spite of their lack of space, they have an entire large room dedicated to the pro football leagues that tried to challenge the NFL and failed miserably.

 

And the room is not a respectful homage to these leagues, rather it smugly describes how each one tried to challenge the bohemeth that is the NFL and then crashed and burned.  Like smugly describing how the players in one league almost sat out of the championship because their paychecks for the past couple months had bounced.  Or describing how the commissioner of one league was a convicted felon. It goes through each league and describes how it was a terrible failure and quickly tanked.  The entire room is a shrine to smugness and I think I could have spent hours in there.  My favorite part:  They go through all these different failed leagues yet not a single mention of the XFL. It's like tthe NFL is trying to play it off like they didn't even know that league ever existed.  That is some great smug right there.  U mad XFL?

That's not a fucking break!

Did I do something in a previous life to deserve this?

He dead

Well, the new Madden 13 cover has been announced. Much to mine and Bilbo's dismay, it's our boyfriend Mr. Megatron.

This is so fucking depressing. Not only is the Madden Curse real, but this year it's Madden 13...what a fucking unlucky number.He'll be lucky if he survives the season.

It was down to him and Cam Newton. Bilbo and I would've much preferred Cam win because he hate him and his father. Why you gotta do us like that, Internet voters!??!?!

Windows Update

The critical RDP exploit needs to be patched ASAP.


I think this only applies to Pembry now as the rest of us are running extremely unsecured Macs that never release security updates.


This vulnerability is a major cause for concern because there is not authentication required to execute the malicious code. So, hurry the shit up and patch your computer, Jimbo!


I'm so very tired to computer exploits. Could you guys just fuck off and die? Is that too much to ask? I just wanna check 4chan, The Chive, XNXX, and read some football updates. I don't feel like dealing with virus infections from people googling "Fishing trade winds" and mashing the first link they see.


/looks at PFT


Oh, Manning went to the Broncos...


/stares blankly at screen


So, what are they going to do about Tebow?


Oh fuck.

Pembry's Devastatingly Sad Super Bowl Preview

It doesn't matter. We are all dead. It has begun.



Oh, and I am not responding to Brought's prediction trolling buttonsing.

Brought's Devastatingly Sad Super Bowl Preview

I'm not gonna delve too deeply here. It would hurt too much to dig too deep into how I came to my conclusion. So, here goes Brought's official super bowl prediction:

We're gonna see a scoreless 1st quarter, which is death for the Pats from the start. Then Eli is going to catch onto what the Pats' terrible D is trying to do and start moving the ball much like Flacco did last week after getting killed in his first two or three possessions. The Pats will get going in the 2nd as well, probably matching a score or two.

Then things go south. Brady is sure to throw a redzone pick in the two-minute drill. Then coming back after halftime, he's gonna gun another one to the Giants on the first drive. With Eli now going strong, the game gets wrapped mid-3rd and the rest is just rewatching the same commercials we were underwhelmed by 2 hours before.

Final score: Giants 42, Patriots 20

Roll Tide!

Holy shit was that a fantastic beatdown last night. I loved everything about the regular season matchup but the final result, so to watch Saban and his Tide defense absolutely destroy LSU last night was basically a wet dream of college football.

And jesus was that defense ever amazing. I want all those guys on the Patriots next season. Is there any way we can make that happen? Gimme Barron, Kirkpatrick, Upshaw, Hightower, and Chapman and, as Peter King would say, I'll sit back and pop the bubbly on a million Super Bowls. There was a close-up on Jordan Jefferson after his retarded pitch-pick where he literally looked seconds from bawling. It was amazing. Fuck that parking lot-fighting cock, he got his beating last night. I love that his idiot coach just left him out there to die. You eat this shit and eat it hard Jefferson.

And a toast to Nick Saban, the greatest coach in college football. The first to 3 crystal footballs. And it had to be oh so sweet to do it to the team he left high and dry to take an NFL sabbatical from the college scene. Congrats.

Weekend Recap: Pembry Realizes He Has to Root For Either the Pats or Tebow

LOVE IT!

/Gap's Head Explodes

Oh thank Tebow, this is rich!

God bless the BCS

"Anyone who doesn't win their conference has no business playing in the national championship game." ~ Nick Saban, Alabama (12/8/03)

FUCK YOU!

Fuck the fucking Colts. You smug fucking douchebags are deliberately trying to run the table in reverse. It's even more apparent now. You almost won last week, so you decided to bench your starting QB and fire the D coordinator in an effort to ensure Andrew Luck. Fuck you! The fact that this organization hasn't been called out for this pathetic display is beyond Bilbo and I. Each week we get madder and madder. Fuck Polian, fuck Irsay, fuck their fans, fuck ESPN, fuck Caldwell, and fuck anyone who doesn't think their team should suffer a thousand straight losses after this bullshit performance. I hope Manning totally fucks up this deal for them. Luck seems like a nice enough guy, but I hope he fucking busts.

Eat a million cocks.

Songs We Used to Love

These bitches were hot. That is all.

Instead I'm gonna go ahead and talk about football in this space. Maybe more accurately, I'm going to explain why the Patriots are going to lose to the Eagles and Jimbo is going to be all smug come Monday.

This is going to be a shootout. Desean Jackson is going to have a huge game. The Pats' secondary is abysmal right now and it doesn't matter whether VY or MV7 are slinging the football. It doesn't even matter if Maclin is able to play. The Patriots simply lack the back end to stop the Eagles big vertical plays. On the other side, the Eagles' biggest strength (the wide nines pass rush) is Brady's biggest weakness this season. He's been downright bad against the kind of pressure Cole and Babin are going to get. Doesn't matter who's hurt in the back end if you don't have time to look down the field.

It's gonna be a goddamn bloodbath and I'm going to hate Monday.

Joe Paterno Press Release

Football:Manchester United's 2-1 win over Chelsea in the Champions League pictures

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