Gap's Penis is Happy

God I love children of Hollywood. Get slutty!

A show for hoofers, about hoofers.

HBO's Luck seems promising. I've watched the pilot and I think it will do fine as a distraction until Game of Thrones and Boardwalk Empire come back into my life. I LOVE YOU, JIMMY!


Anyway, Luck takes a look into the seedy underbelly of horse racing. There's a lot of midgets and hoofer euthanasia. It's fantastic.


I actually first heard about the show from Turd. He loves Michael Mann and Mann directed the pilot, so Turd just had to watch it and scream about how good the directing is. I cannot tell you how many times Turd made me watch Miami Vice...it was annoying because that movie is pretty lame. Maybe if Colin hung dong it would've been better.

Goofy Girls Gap Gravitates...Gowards?

Florence Welch! Oh yeah, me so horny! Look at you, trying sooooo hard to act like you don't care what people think. Bilbo and I had a lovely conversation over the weekend about chicks like this. Some hot hipster chick walked by us and it sparked the conversation. Basically we came to the conclusion that chicks like that have perfectly manicured front AND backsides. It's all such a perfectly orchestrated look. They're just as fake as the chicks with huge fake tits and fake tans. They're just trying to attract a different type of man. If you ladies really didn't care, you'd have unkempt bushes and you wouldn't be spending $300 on those hipster glasses. Just be honest. Don't dismiss Bilbo and I so quickly when we walk up and ask to see what your asshole looks like. We're just giving you the attention you so desperately crave. Now tits or GTFO!