Checkin' In On Bilbo

While Pembry and Gap were drinking excessively this weekend, Bilbo was on his own adventures.  Here he is strolling down the beach, humming a merry tune.  It seems he had a splendid time.

Advice Time With Jim Pembry

Miley, if you do that with your hand there is virtually no chance you will be featured on a skit again.  You aren't a JB anymore, so you can't get by just riding a pink bike and showing a smidgeon of cleavage.

 

No Becky, you keep doing EXACTLY what it is you are doing. 

 Work on those tans you effeminate prima donnas.  Raptors like their meat Pittsburgh style.

Dear Game of Thrones, I love you as a show but every time you have parted ways with the books I think it has been a really bad decision.

  

Wait... who is this?  She isn't in the books!  What did I just say...

OK, I'll hear you out....

 

 

/spits out  Dornish wine

 

 ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF THE NORTH!

The Aphra Behn of MS Paint

Former Hutt slave girl, Olivia Munn, will certainly go down as one of the greatest actresses of our generation. Her stunning performance in __________ [note: research and insert movie] where she portrayed _______________ [note: research and insert role], will go down as one of the greatest onscreen performances of all time.


But after some nerds hacked into her Twitter and stole some private pictures, it is now revealed she is also quite the wordsmith. Olivia is not simply building on the body of achievement of __________ [note: research and insert ethnicity] writers. Instead she has created an entirely new form of prose, that of MS Paint captioning.





Noted literary critic Cat Jensen has proclaimed that Munn is __________ [note: obtain Cat's phone number, call her, convince her not to hang up and get restraining order, get quote about Olivia Munn]

Bravo, Olivia. I am only disappointed I did not have your body of work to study in high school instead of that hack Chaucer. Reading your seminal piece "Begging you to slap my ass so hard I cry..." literally changed my life.